I Think All #WOMEN should wear #SEXY #UNDERWEAR / #LINGERIE And This Is Why…

Dear All,

So last month was my birthday and I was assessing the last 28 years and I was thinking when I have this, I’m going to do this and that. When I eventually get here, I’m going to stay here and do this. When I finally stop being single, I’m going to do this, that and the other, with my man and I’m going to buy a whole load of sexy clothes that I think a man might enjoy seeing me in bahahahahaha!

Then it hit me! – hold on – why am I waiting to get married before I wear sexy underwear?!!??!?! I was like:

“Oh no no no no no! Catherine you don’t dress your body for men, you dress your body in what makes you feel good and sexy because you’re worth it! You should feel good and sexy without the validation of a man. You shouldn’t need a man to say “ooo yeah!” at you before you feel sexy. The sexiness needs to come from the inside!”

So I marched over to Ann Summers and I bought the sexiest things I could find on the shelves (I was actually surprised at how tame the garments in there were) because it doesn’t matter if a man is going to see you or not. You see you and you should dress up for you, you’re worth it! If it makes you feel good and sexy, DO IT! (Within reason people… E.g. don’t walk around naked in public because it makes you feel sexy that’s just ridiculous, leave that kind of thing for indoors when the curtains are closed lol)

There’s nothing wrong with being sexy and embracing your sexiness! You are a human being, therefore, you are a sexual, sensual being. Embrace it! Even the Bible discusses human sensuality. Read Song of Solomon sometimes known as Song of Song for more info: https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/sng/1/1/s_672001

I feel like sometimes as women we just give up sometimes. We think oh nobody is looking at me any more because:

  • I’m waaaay over 50 or
  • I have children or
  • I’ve put on a bit of weight or
  • I’ve been single for a long time or
  • I have glasses or freckles or or or or and so on!

Here’s my rebuttal:

  • FOR THE OVER 50 I SAY! see the picture below:

  • FOR THE OVERWEIGHT I SAY! Some people are overweight because of health reasons and consequently are unable to loose the excess, BUT let me tell you, men are simple creatures. They’ll look regardless…. Some guys like a woman with a big bum! lol. I’m pretty sure my bum gets looked at far more than my face! For those who are physically able to loose the weight, love yourself by having a healthy diet, this will make you loose weight through a process of self love and not self hatred. Exercise and have a healthy lifestyle for health reasons, not aesthetic reasons, it’ll improve your sex drive anyway.Say it with me: “I am loosing weight and having a healthy lifestyle because that will help me to be the best me that I can possibly be”. Don’t try to be a weight that is unhealthy for your frame, if you’re a tall woman you should be heavier than the average woman because there is more of you, if you’re a small woman, when you’ve lost the weight you would naturally be lighter than the average woman etc. To find out the healthy weight for you see the NHS BMI Calculator below for more info:
  • FOR THOSE WITH CHILDREN, your man is thinking some boobs are better than no boobs at all lol! If you cover up because YOU THINK you’re spent and no longer an object of sexual desire following the baby(ies) he’ll just stop initiating, for two reasons:
    • Firstly: because it hurts his feelings MORE THAN YOU KNOW to get knocked back constantly.
    • Secondly: not because he’s not interested in you but because you aren’t interested in you. Your intangible emotional disinterest in yourself is expressed through you tangibly, physically covering up your body in drabness. Listen very carefully, no man is going to intentionally make his life difficult by trying to penetrate the impenetrable. He loves you enough to marry you and put one baby in you and watch the baby come out of you and is still sticking around? Then he probably wants to put another baby in you as well, giving birth isn’t pretty, yet he stayed lol. You’re not giving him the chance to prove how much he loves you and how decent he is (or is not depending on the case). He wants the you he fell in love with, who was confident and loved herself and was emotionally self sufficient. He found your self confidence super sexy! You are sexy! Game face! You’re a Yummy Mummy now! Get rid of those gross old things that your grandmother wouldn’t be seen dead in and make or buy some new hot ones or alter the ones you have (they don’t have to be new), or don’t wear any at all! (in the house not outside, lets be decent…). Go have sex with your husband, initiate, he won’t mind lol. You don’t like the excess baby weight? Exercise! Stretch marks? Coconut oil! You can do this! If you’re a mother you’re a hero anyway! Go Supermum! Go!

  • FOR THE SINGLE I SAY! Get your sexy glad rags on FOR YOU not anybody else, you’re never going to attract anyone sulking in your sackcloth and ashes. Be confident, you know you’re sexy, work out FOR YOU. Then, naturally, with your hot body and confident personality that comes from self love and the knowledge that Jesus thinks you’re wonderful, you’re going to find someone, in the process of loving yourself. Then when that person finally arrives YOU WONT NEED their validation like oxygen, which means you won’t be an emotional parasite on them.

e3ceda63d0d44ad07e46199b5383a9d9--be-confident-confidence-quotes.jpg

I’m actually a lot healthier physically and emotionally since I’ve changed my mentality on the matter of sexy underwear, ok I would just like to say my previous pieces did not look like Granny underwear but I just avoided the super slinky hoochie mama stuff which I am now embracing and it totally shows on the outside. I hope by now you guys realise this post isn’t about sexy underwear at all it is in fact about the self confidence that precedes the life choice to decide to wear a particular garment and it’s about wearing nice things because you are worth it, nice things aren’t just for skinny people or young people or people in relationships, they are for everyone! They are for you!

So, I bought a lovely new strappy swimming costume. I want to fit it nicely, so I’ve been working out and eating the right things, this in turn has been giving me the shape I want, in a healthy way because I want to do that for me. This in turn is making me more physically fit which has improved my overall health. Now, since I’ve been working out for me, I’ve actually been more determined in my workout sessions and getting much better results and I actually get more male attention! huzzah! lol! I went to the mall the other day and the dudes were like “whoa!” and “oh yes!” like really loud hehehe. But I don’t care, their attention, which I think was directed at my lady lumps, doesn’t interest me and that is as it should be!!!! It was a welcome surprise and I was flattered but I do not live for the affirmation of others. This has come about because I walk around with my head up high, knowing Jesus loves me and has made me beautiful and I’m slowly but surely loving myself a lot more, not looking around for affirmation, my affirmation comes from the inside. I’m dressing my body in fun things to love me 🙂 and its an exciting experience! Who doesn’t like shopping? Or altering clothes? My mother was happily taking in some clothes yesterday, happily because she had lost weight lol. I’m not saying that I’ve got all this stuff down. I’m still a work in progress myself but bit by bit Jesus is helping me to love myself, not in an arrogant way but in a self confident way.

I bought my sexy strappy things, I’ve been working out so I fit them nicely and I am going to wear them, I don’t care who can or cannot see! Let the sexy underwear revolution begin! [see the video below].

Catherine x

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#singleness #Jesus #marriage #Adam #Eve #exercise #Christian

Hello,

This week I went for a run in the park and I enjoyed myself quite a lot, you know with all the endorphins that exercise releases.

Well it got me thinking, I enjoy exercising (unless I’m on my period, no exercise gets done then, I do eat lots of cake though lol) and I said to Jesus, “You know what would be really great? If my future husband would be the type that would exercise with me”. 

Now, it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve been into exercise and before I wasn’t that keen. I thought to myself, you know I’ve really changed over the past couple of years and I’m not even the same person that I was at the beginning of the week because previously I couldn’t care less if the guy didn’t exercise with me.

This got me thinking further. Now this is the big moral to this story. You ready?… Had I gotten married when I was younger, back when most of my friends got married I would not have had the emotional and physical space that singleness provides in order to develop my personality. Being single has let me explore my own needs and wants, I’ve developed a character that defines me as opposed to having my character defined or shaped by my spouse. 

The chilling thing is that the changes that have happened to me would have happened anyway because they are related to my raw, base nature that I was born with. Consequently, had I got married earlier, I would have married a guy whose personality fit young inexperienced Catherine. I would then have changed and we would have no longer been compatible.

I attended a training session from a sports psychologist, he informed us that your brain can still be adolescent well up to 25-30 years old, depending on how mature you are. That totally fits with my own psychological development. I’m over 25 but not 30 yet, I’m very close to 30 but honestly I’ve only felt like an adult in the last couple of years.

Now, if we look in the Bible we see what life was like for early single man:

Genesis 2:15-20 NLT

[15] The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. [16] But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden- [17] except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” [18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” [19] So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. [20] He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

Look at that! Adam was single with Jesus for an unspecified amount of time. During that time he was given instruction by God [v 16-17] (he went to school), he was given the purpose of tending the garden [v 15] (he had a job), he learnt about himself and the world around him and he was with Jesus [v 19-20] (he had a close, talking relationship with Jesus). God did all of that for a reason. God had Adam trying new things and meeting new challenges to develop his character, till he could get to the place where he understood that he needed more and why he needed more and what the more was for! It was always God’s intention to make woman but he needed man to be in a fit state to interact with woman appropriately.

The Bible also shows us early single woman:

Genesis 2:21-22 NLT

[21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

We don’t know how long Adam was out for, it could have been anything from 60 minutes to 60 years for all we know. Eve spent time on her own just her and Jesus. We know this because Jesus brought Eve to Adam as opposed to him finding her himself. We don’t know what Jesus told Eve before He introduced her to Adam but I imagine one of the things was about sex. 

Now, the man and women both had special “single time” with Jesus before He introduced them to each other. This got me thinking. Don’t feel awful about the length of your “single Adam time” or your “single Eve time”. This is when you are to learn and grow as a person. Guys, maybe it’s a time that you might want to get a job in a field (excuse the pun) that you feel that God wants you to do like Adam? Ladies, spend time with Jesus, try new things, grow, change, get a career you want and become the best and most effective you that you can be! I’ve personally improved when it comes to physical fitness, isn’t it so much better to go into a relationship healthier, physically, spiritually and emotionally?

I was thinking to myself, you never know, at one point guys, you might go to sleep, like Adam [v 21], metaphorically, as in you just stop looking for a lady and then boom! She’s there! Heh. Likewise, ladies, you might just be enjoying spending time with Jesus without a man and then Jesus says “it’s time” and then somewhere on your walk with Jesus, whilst you are continuing your relationship with Jesus, Jesus takes you to the one [v 22].

Note, when they were both in the right place physically and emotionally they were naked (honest and safe with each other) and not be ashamed [v 25].

Genesis 2:23-25 NLT

[23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Everyone tells me I’ll know when I meet the one, like the man in verse 23. 

Interestingly, according to the Bible, verse 24, men tend to leave their parents to go and be with their wives (maybe move out of your parents place? Not a rule but you probably should get your own place once you’re married…).

These things are important, consider the changes in my interests a cautionary tale! It’s ok to be single. Single time is for getting to know Jesus, yourself, the world and how it works. Marriage is not easy and I have dodged many many many bullets, it means that I’m single still but I’m not in a loveless marriage with a tool, which makes me 100% better off than an unhappily married woman and I regret nothing. I’m not saying I wont still change, in fact, I’m looking forward to changing for the better with a spouse but you need to grow enough to where you can get to the point where you can be malleable enough to be affected in a good way by your spouse and be able to accept, recognise and metabolize good change and stamp out and deal with bad change. That takes maturity and the ability to know who and what you are in Christ. Also, during my single time I’ve been learning about myself, improving my physical fitness through exercising more and making healthy adjustments to my diet (the healthier you are the more energy and emotional resources you will have for things like sex and babies/children and your in-laws lol) and critiquing how I want to live and the types of individuals that I want around me. Moreover, I feel like I’ve learned so much of the Bible, there’s still more to learn and most importantly I feel like my relationship with Jesus is growing and transforming because I have so much time to myself to work on it! I see its importance and I can take a new found strength of character into a relationship and say to whoever “Jesus is more important than you!”
Love your singleness!

Catherine x