I Think All #WOMEN should wear #SEXY #UNDERWEAR / #LINGERIE And This Is Why…

Dear All,

So last month was my birthday and I was assessing the last 28 years and I was thinking when I have this, I’m going to do this and that. When I eventually get here, I’m going to stay here and do this. When I finally stop being single, I’m going to do this, that and the other, with my man and I’m going to buy a whole load of sexy clothes that I think a man might enjoy seeing me in bahahahahaha!

Then it hit me! – hold on – why am I waiting to get married before I wear sexy underwear?!!??!?! I was like:

“Oh no no no no no! Catherine you don’t dress your body for men, you dress your body in what makes you feel good and sexy because you’re worth it! You should feel good and sexy without the validation of a man. You shouldn’t need a man to say “ooo yeah!” at you before you feel sexy. The sexiness needs to come from the inside!”

So I marched over to Ann Summers and I bought the sexiest things I could find on the shelves (I was actually surprised at how tame the garments in there were) because it doesn’t matter if a man is going to see you or not. You see you and you should dress up for you, you’re worth it! If it makes you feel good and sexy, DO IT! (Within reason people… E.g. don’t walk around naked in public because it makes you feel sexy that’s just ridiculous, leave that kind of thing for indoors when the curtains are closed lol)

There’s nothing wrong with being sexy and embracing your sexiness! You are a human being, therefore, you are a sexual, sensual being. Embrace it! Even the Bible discusses human sensuality. Read Song of Solomon sometimes known as Song of Song for more info: https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/sng/1/1/s_672001

I feel like sometimes as women we just give up sometimes. We think oh nobody is looking at me any more because:

  • I’m waaaay over 50 or
  • I have children or
  • I’ve put on a bit of weight or
  • I’ve been single for a long time or
  • I have glasses or freckles or or or or and so on!

Here’s my rebuttal:

  • FOR THE OVER 50 I SAY! see the picture below:

  • FOR THE OVERWEIGHT I SAY! Some people are overweight because of health reasons and consequently are unable to loose the excess, BUT let me tell you, men are simple creatures. They’ll look regardless…. Some guys like a woman with a big bum! lol. I’m pretty sure my bum gets looked at far more than my face! For those who are physically able to loose the weight, love yourself by having a healthy diet, this will make you loose weight through a process of self love and not self hatred. Exercise and have a healthy lifestyle for health reasons, not aesthetic reasons, it’ll improve your sex drive anyway.Say it with me: “I am loosing weight and having a healthy lifestyle because that will help me to be the best me that I can possibly be”. Don’t try to be a weight that is unhealthy for your frame, if you’re a tall woman you should be heavier than the average woman because there is more of you, if you’re a small woman, when you’ve lost the weight you would naturally be lighter than the average woman etc. To find out the healthy weight for you see the NHS BMI Calculator below for more info:
  • FOR THOSE WITH CHILDREN, your man is thinking some boobs are better than no boobs at all lol! If you cover up because YOU THINK you’re spent and no longer an object of sexual desire following the baby(ies) he’ll just stop initiating, for two reasons:
    • Firstly: because it hurts his feelings MORE THAN YOU KNOW to get knocked back constantly.
    • Secondly: not because he’s not interested in you but because you aren’t interested in you. Your intangible emotional disinterest in yourself is expressed through you tangibly, physically covering up your body in drabness. Listen very carefully, no man is going to intentionally make his life difficult by trying to penetrate the impenetrable. He loves you enough to marry you and put one baby in you and watch the baby come out of you and is still sticking around? Then he probably wants to put another baby in you as well, giving birth isn’t pretty, yet he stayed lol. You’re not giving him the chance to prove how much he loves you and how decent he is (or is not depending on the case). He wants the you he fell in love with, who was confident and loved herself and was emotionally self sufficient. He found your self confidence super sexy! You are sexy! Game face! You’re a Yummy Mummy now! Get rid of those gross old things that your grandmother wouldn’t be seen dead in and make or buy some new hot ones or alter the ones you have (they don’t have to be new), or don’t wear any at all! (in the house not outside, lets be decent…). Go have sex with your husband, initiate, he won’t mind lol. You don’t like the excess baby weight? Exercise! Stretch marks? Coconut oil! You can do this! If you’re a mother you’re a hero anyway! Go Supermum! Go!

  • FOR THE SINGLE I SAY! Get your sexy glad rags on FOR YOU not anybody else, you’re never going to attract anyone sulking in your sackcloth and ashes. Be confident, you know you’re sexy, work out FOR YOU. Then, naturally, with your hot body and confident personality that comes from self love and the knowledge that Jesus thinks you’re wonderful, you’re going to find someone, in the process of loving yourself. Then when that person finally arrives YOU WONT NEED their validation like oxygen, which means you won’t be an emotional parasite on them.

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I’m actually a lot healthier physically and emotionally since I’ve changed my mentality on the matter of sexy underwear, ok I would just like to say my previous pieces did not look like Granny underwear but I just avoided the super slinky hoochie mama stuff which I am now embracing and it totally shows on the outside. I hope by now you guys realise this post isn’t about sexy underwear at all it is in fact about the self confidence that precedes the life choice to decide to wear a particular garment and it’s about wearing nice things because you are worth it, nice things aren’t just for skinny people or young people or people in relationships, they are for everyone! They are for you!

So, I bought a lovely new strappy swimming costume. I want to fit it nicely, so I’ve been working out and eating the right things, this in turn has been giving me the shape I want, in a healthy way because I want to do that for me. This in turn is making me more physically fit which has improved my overall health. Now, since I’ve been working out for me, I’ve actually been more determined in my workout sessions and getting much better results and I actually get more male attention! huzzah! lol! I went to the mall the other day and the dudes were like “whoa!” and “oh yes!” like really loud hehehe. But I don’t care, their attention, which I think was directed at my lady lumps, doesn’t interest me and that is as it should be!!!! It was a welcome surprise and I was flattered but I do not live for the affirmation of others. This has come about because I walk around with my head up high, knowing Jesus loves me and has made me beautiful and I’m slowly but surely loving myself a lot more, not looking around for affirmation, my affirmation comes from the inside. I’m dressing my body in fun things to love me 🙂 and its an exciting experience! Who doesn’t like shopping? Or altering clothes? My mother was happily taking in some clothes yesterday, happily because she had lost weight lol. I’m not saying that I’ve got all this stuff down. I’m still a work in progress myself but bit by bit Jesus is helping me to love myself, not in an arrogant way but in a self confident way.

I bought my sexy strappy things, I’ve been working out so I fit them nicely and I am going to wear them, I don’t care who can or cannot see! Let the sexy underwear revolution begin! [see the video below].

Catherine x

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ANNOUNCEMENT: Ride The Fader Productions

Hey everybody,

Did you know that I provide UK based music production, composition, peripatetic music tuition (alto sax, flute, clarinet, lever harp), performing, songwriting and worship leader services on a freelance basis?

Did you know that I trade under Catherine Waithe-Arnold and also under Ride The Fader Productions?

I am now consolidating all of my trading under Ride The Fader Productions, please take a look at my website! or drop me an email at catherine@ridethefaderproductions.com

www.ridethefaderproductions.com

 

Then Connect with Ride The Fader Productions on social media!

Facebook – @ridethefaderproductions www.facebook.com/ridethefaderproductions

Twitter – @ridethefader www.twitter.com/ridethefader

Instagram – @ridethefaderproductions – www.instagram.com/ridethefaderproductions

LinkedIn – Ride The Fader Productions www.linkedin.com/company/ridethefaderproductions

 

Thank you for your time!,

Catherine Waithe-Arnold BA (Hons), MMus
CEO @ Ride The Fader Productions

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Homeward bound!

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HOW I LEARNT NOT TO GO TO TOWN LOOKING SHABBY

Dear Friends,

Let me share with you the cautionary tale of how I learned to not go to town looking like I just got out of bed. 

Before that, if you missed my last post and you are interested in taking up the Flute, Alto Sax or Clarinet in Bb or you are looking for a composer for your project please follow this link.

Now back to the story!

The year was 2009, I was in my second year of my degree BA (Hons) Popular Music and Record Production, at Southampton Solent University (I graduated First Class btw then went on to do my Masters in Music Composition at The University Of Southampton, there’s two universities in Southampton). To encourage/motivate myself to get my work done, I created my own reward system for the means of positive reinforcement. So I did things I needed to do, then I would reward myself for it 😛 . Often, it would include buying a DVD, cake, going out somewhere with friends and going to town to buy purfume/chocolate/cupcakes/milkshakes lol. I didn’t usually dress to go to town I just went as is, unless I was going with friends.

Now, one day I had an essay due. I spent all night finishing the essay because it was due the next day and like a typical student, I had left it till waaay too late to start. Eventually, I finished the essay very early in the morning on the submission day. As I had been up all night I was knackered, I was soo knackered that I didn’t even want to shower, which is a big thing for me because I ALWAYS SHOWER EVERYDAY AND SOMETIMES I EVEN SHOWER TWICE A DAY, living in England I am in the minority when it comes to showering habits lol… (to be fair that extra layer of dirt is what’s keeping you warm).

Anyway, I decided for my own self respect to shower even though I was soo tired. (Sometimes, my peers would go to university on submission days in their pyjamas because they had been up all night working on essays and couldn’t be bothered to wear clothes because you didn’t go to lectures on that day you just went in and handed in your work). Anywaaaaay! So I looked in the mirror and thought,

“I’m just going to hand in my work not a lecture, no need for makeup no one’s going to see me and no one in the queue cares lol”.

So I decided not to wear makeup. I then looked at my hair and said

“I’m too tired I can’t be bothered people need to just be happy that I’m wearing clothes, showered and am handing in my essay forget that!”

So I slicked my hair back into a ponytail, no parting or anything just back lol. I found some clothes, bell bottom jeans and a plaid pink/red/blue t-shirt and some trainers. So basically I looked like I had just come off a farm mucking out stables 😀 . I walked the short walk to university carrying my essay and a handbag, got to the hatch and handed in my essay. After that I felt very relieved and decided, lets go to town! I wanted to buy the latest perfume of the day, I can’t remember what it was Estee Lauder or something like that!

So I started walking to town, massive weight off my shoulder knowing that I had finished said essay and my time was now my own. I walked down the high street, which led to the massive mall, fun fact the architect who designed the atrium of that mall was the father of one of my ex bf’s. Moving on. I was walking down the high street nearly at the mall and there were charity people there as usual, trying to get shoppers to give to charity. These people always catch me and always speak to me, I always get them! I don’t know why? Maybe I have a friendly face?

Begrudgingly I walked up to him and then when I got close.

         “Oh. My. Goodness.”

He was the fittest thing I had ever seen with a clip board and there I was, looking like a farm-hand. The horror! Thank goodness I at least showered! This is why you must always shower lol. He was named after one of the disciples, tall, intelligent, loved the environment, was politically and socially aware, personable, buff ting, a tiny bit older than me, basically everything I would ever want in a guy. He had a degree in something like Environmental Science and I could actually have an intelligent conversation with him. I kept on trying to run away because I felt like I didn’t really look that great and I was embarrassed BUT he didn’t seem to notice. He kept on prolonging the conversation way beyond trying to get me to sign up for charity. I was thinking to myself “why is this guy still talking to me I look awful?”. He was so nice and intelligent and I really enjoyed talking to him. I was thinking “yeah we can get married and have an eco friendly house, grow our own vegetables and our car will run on solar power and our love 😛 “. I wish I had been more confident and gotten his number, he might have given it to me, we did talk for an awfully long time, I was beginning to get a bit embarrassed and I’m pretty sure people were watching lol.

Eventually we finished our conversation and I went into the mall feeling demoralised because I just couldn’t be bothered to make an effort with my appearance. In general around that time I literally used to dress like a dude:

Now I dress like this:

Still loving the red and much more feminine! There’s nothing wrong with jeans but there is something wrong with wearing them when it’s not always really the appropriate occasion to do so, like I used to. There’s also something wrong with wearing jeans to hide your body, like I used to do as well. I just had a lot of self esteem and self image issues at the time that I have been working on and still am working on with Jesus.

Learn from my experience! Do not go to town looking like you belong on a farm. I can’t stress this enough, you might meet a fit guy/lady. It’s not worth it. The memory of that experience still upsets me to this day lol. I couldn’t have dated him anyway because I promised God that I was going to university to get a degree not a boyfriend. I promised God before I went to university that I wouldn’t have any boyfriends whilst I was doing my degree, consequently, I was deliberately boyfriend-less for 3 years. I regret nothing, as I said earlier I graduated First Class. I’m still boyfriend-less, not deliberately this time but even so I’m still having quite a good time exploring who I am, who Jesus is and what Jesus wants out of my life and where we are going together.

The next day I decided that that experience was never ever going to happen to me ever again, I put on my slap foundation, blusher, eye shadow, eye liner, mascara the works, so full war paint lol, I also put on a dress and a necklace and went to town looking for the cute charity guy again 😉 and he wasn’t there… and he never was ever again… and I felt so stupid, even more stupid than I felt the previous day.

For those of you who have read to the bottom of this blog post, well done to you, your reward is the following nuggets of knowledge:

I felt like the experience was God showing me that I am beautiful and I don’t need makeup or nice clothes to get nice, attractive, intelligent guys to talk to me, it was really my personality that kept him talking to me because I had already agreed to give to charity and we were literally just having a conversation after that about the news. 

However, what I also learnt from that experience is the importance of being ready, for anything. The problem was not that I wasn’t dressed and didn’t have makeup on, the problem was that I WASN’T READY FOR LIFE BECAUSE I COULDN’T BE BOTHERED and therein lies the crux of what I am trying to teach you. I didn’t appropriately deal with something in my past (the essay, I started it to late). I then allowed this thing in my past to effect my future (I allowed my tiredness and lethargy from writing the essay to dictate my actions instead of my brain and heart). This in turn left me unprepared for my future (I was embarrassed in front of the attractive charity guy). Always be ready to face life’s challenges always and never assume that your destiny is going to happen tomorrow it might just creep up on you today! This story isn’t about the guy or makeup it’s just about doing whatever you personally need to do to be prepared even if it’s tiring. The guy just represented anything that I wanted but wasn’t physically, spiritually and emotionally ready for because I just couldn’t be bothered because of something that happened in my past. Don’t let that happen to you. I say this metaphorically:

DON’T GO TO TOWN LOOKING LIKE RUBBISH, ALWAYS BE PREPARED!

Apply that principle to whatever situation is going on in your life and just make sure that you don’t go to town looking like rubbish, please.

 

Lots of love

Catherine x

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Off somewhere to do things!

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