HALT! – What Happened When I Was Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired! – #sex #music #Christian #Biblestudy

Dear all,

Have you heard of the acronym “HALT” stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired? It has consequences on your mind if you are in a place where you are all those things, leaving you vulnerable to relapse into a negative state and initiate a craving reaction… Being in a HALT state also shows that you are not taking care of yourself like you should. Here’s how it affected me the past two weeks.

What happened

Sometimes we can be called to do things but we allow the calling to become bigger than the One who called us. As I said, I’ve been overwhelmed with doing stuff, which made me Angry. This stuff was stuff which I should be doing and is important and vital to the continuation of the ministry at my church. However, I’ve been trying so hard that I even wasn’t reading my Bible as much as I should which made me spiritually Hungry and I felt Jesus was becoming jealous of the calling in that I was giving it more time that I was giving Him. So I finally finished what I had to do which was important and time sensitive and then I crashed in an emotionally/physically exhausted way (one night I even stayed up till after 8am doing stuff) because I was very Tired, on day I took off. That is when Jesus revealed the following to me whilst I was talking to Him please continue to read the following which happened last week:

I was sitting having a lovely day off and laying down having a conversation with Jesus on my bed and I noticed a few things different about that day. Firstly, the visions that Jesus shows me regularly came back. Jesus shows me visions and lots of other things regularly but since I was so busy I noticed they stopped, which made me a bit Lonely I thought maybe Jesus wasn’t showing me them because I was moving onto something else, no, I just was soo busy that what I was doing was competing for mental space with Jesus and Jesus was just not willing to compete but when I took a day off and Jesus was no longer in competition I noticed they came back.

Secondly, Jesus opened my eyes to the fact that I had been having nosebleeds for 2 weeks straight, culminating in a rather large one on the day I rested. I noticed it but I didn’t put two and two together to see the correlation between how much stress I was taking on and the nosebleeds. I had been internalizing so much stress and it was coming out as nosebleeds, I didn’t notice till I took a day off that I was not allowing Jesus to take my burdens and it was beginning to damage my health. How much stress does a person have to be under to have nosebleeds every day? Answer, a lot and to be so stressed that you don’t even realise it’s making you ill is dangerous. So again, by letting the calling become bigger than Jesus and taking on things all by myself I was damaging my health.

Anyway, revelations aside I felt like had quite a nice conversation with Jesus. I was feeling really quite tired by the end of the conversation as I had done stupid things like stayed up all night till past 8am in the morning working, so pulling proper all nighters and I was knackered by my day off.

So… I decided I would actually get into bed and lay down. I went to sleep, had a very strange dream and then woke up.

When I woke up, being in a HALT state had initiated a craving reaction and for the life of me I could not stop thinking about sex… I had very naughty thoughts (which I will not expand upon) solidly for a good hour or two about having sex in the control room of a music studio… I’m not even kidding, there was absolutely nothing else in my mind and it was as lucid as if I was there… (I’m definitely going to hide this blog post from my mother) I’m a musician. We are more prone to finding things like that sexy… Don’t judge meeeeeeeee!

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I couldn’t believe that I had actually thought such dirtiness just after having quite a nice, jovial conversation with Jesus before my nap.

And then I thought to myself:

“You know what? I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was”

and I shook my head at myself as I admitted my 29 year old humanity…

Normally, I avoid highly sexualised thoughts because firstly it’s a distraction and secondly it’s not good to focus on something that isn’t real. Lastly, there are Biblical reasons that revolve around how we are to conduct our thoughts and the Biblical mandate to not have sex before marriage (see my previous blog post about this)

  • I am not married so I need to rein it in for holiness reasons (and also for my own sanity…)
  • Jesus said that even if you think about doing a sin it’s just as bad as doing the sin. Sins can be committed both in our minds and by our actions. God tells us that we can sin in our minds just by lusting after someone. A person can sin by giving in to an inner emotion or passion and then dwelling on that emotion or passion like it says in Matthew 5:27-28:

(Matthew 5:27-28 NLT) “[27] “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ [28] But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

  • Temptations are not from God but from Satan to drag us down and get us to do the bad things we are tempted to do and we should not meditate on our temptations. Sin does not occur when the emotion, thought, or passion first comes. However, if those thoughts are not resisted, then sin occurs when we give in to the emotion, thought or passion by dwelling on it (Never Thirsty 2019) like it says in James 1:12-15:

(James 1:12-15 NLT) “[12] God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. [13] And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. [14] Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. [15] These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

  • Additionally, what we think can make us dirty from the inside out as vocalised in Matthew 15:18-20

(Matthew 15:18-20 NLT) “[18] But the words you speak come from the heart–that’s what defiles you. [19] For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. [20] These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.””

  • A person sins by dwelling on something that God has told us to avoid. When we sin on the outside we demonstrate to God, to others, and to ourselves that we have already sinned on the inside. God has asked us to resist the temptation to sin by fleeing from it. We are not supposed to see how close we can come without sinning. Fleeing starts with avoiding thoughts about the sin as it says in Romans 16:19:

(Romans 16:19 NLT) “[19] But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong.”

We read in 2 Timothy 2:22 to also run away from anything that would stimulates “youthful lusts”.

(2 Timothy 2:22 NLT) “[22] Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”

So we really shouldn’t be dwelling on nonsense that will stimulate us in a way that is not holy. Instead we should be focussing on living descent holy lives.

So it got me thinking, how did this happen? It happened because I was spiritually and probably physically hungry. I was angry, lonely in a spiritual and physical sense and I was spiritually and physically tired… This then kick-started an instinctive craving mode to try fill the gap normally occupied by Jesus who nourishes me, keeps me calm, gives me company and renews my strength because I was previously too busy to engage with Jesus.

So how do we deal with cravings/bad thoughts that come with being in a HALT state?

Read your Bible Daily – to avoid being spiritually Hungry

I admit it, I was not reading my Bible as much as I should, I can’t believe 2 weeks of not paying at much attention to Jesus as I should as well as skipping a few days of Bible reading and my mind went south, literally… lol. My mind was stressed and did not have it’s daily meal of the Word all the time and the word calms me down. So what did my mind then gravitate towards, something that would naturally calm a person down and give some sort of… umm… release? lol. Sex 🙂 you need to read your Bible every day. I read it morning and night. Read it more than you have to the Bible says we are supposed to meditate on the Word all the time. The Word is also food for our souls. My soul was half starved and hungry, no wonder I was thinking crazy things.

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Change your focus – to avoid being Angry

Stop making your primary focus on things to do with Jesus or your ministry or everything and start making your focus actually Jesus Christ. Stop focussing primarily on your problems and the people making your problems worse as this made me Angry and look for constructive solutions and make sure you always give Christ supremacy in your thoughts.

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Commit our thoughts to prayer – to avoid being Lonely

We commit them to prayer, my problem was that I was not talking to or thinking about Jesus as much as I should because I was so busy doing the things Jesus asked me to do. This made me Lonely. I then crashed (emotionally) it was only then that I noticed the vacuum in my brain where thoughts about and for Jesus would normally have inhabited. The vacuum was filled with sex, thoughts of sex anyway lol… I needed to pray more to inject my humanity with holiness.

(1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT) “[17] Never stop praying.”

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Don’t overwork – to avoid being Tired

(Psalm 127:2 NLT) “[2] It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

Does what it says on the tin really.

Conclusion

I was Hungry (spiritually starved), Angry (due to the people around me making my task more difficult), Lonely (from lack of interaction with Jesus) and Tired (from over working, I actually ended up in A&E for fatigue related accident, related to how tired I was from doing what I was doing). Apparently, when you are these things as a man you shouldn’t go on the internet…. Seems as though that works for women to! I didn’t go on the internet btw but my mind just went south lol.

On a separate note, I wrote a blog post about issues men have here: 3 Ways The Devil Tempts Men

  • Hungry – Eat your spiritual food which is reading the Bible
  • Angry – Change your focus to things for and of Jesus
  • Lonely – pray and talk to Jesus
  • Tired – Don’t overwork and give Jesus and your family the time they deserve

If it took two weeks of distraction, overwork, then me crashing, for my mind to be in the gutter goodness knows what other people who don’t read their Bible regularly or talk to Jesus regularly all year must be struggling with.

Here’s some resources:

https://healthypsych.com/h-a-l-t-hungry-angry-lonely-and-tired-a-self-care-tool/

https://bustedhalo.com/features/what-works-10-halt-hungry-angry-lonely-tired

https://bradfordhealth.com/halt-hunger-anger-loneliness-tiredness/

Catherine xxx

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#read your #bible!

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Bibliography

Never Thirsty, ‘When does thinking about a sin become a sin’ Never Thirsty Web site, at: <https://www.neverthirsty.org/bible-qa/qa-archives/question/when-does-thinking-about-a-sin-become-a-sin/&gt; 9 September 2019

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I Think All #WOMEN should wear #SEXY #UNDERWEAR / #LINGERIE And This Is Why…

Dear All,

So last month was my birthday and I was assessing the last 28 years and I was thinking when I have this, I’m going to do this and that. When I eventually get here, I’m going to stay here and do this. When I finally stop being single, I’m going to do this, that and the other, with my man and I’m going to buy a whole load of sexy clothes that I think a man might enjoy seeing me in bahahahahaha!

Then it hit me! – hold on – why am I waiting to get married before I wear sexy underwear?!!??!?! I was like:

“Oh no no no no no! Catherine you don’t dress your body for men, you dress your body in what makes you feel good and sexy because you’re worth it! You should feel good and sexy without the validation of a man. You shouldn’t need a man to say “ooo yeah!” at you before you feel sexy. The sexiness needs to come from the inside!”

So I marched over to Ann Summers and I bought the sexiest things I could find on the shelves (I was actually surprised at how tame the garments in there were) because it doesn’t matter if a man is going to see you or not. You see you and you should dress up for you, you’re worth it! If it makes you feel good and sexy, DO IT! (Within reason people… E.g. don’t walk around naked in public because it makes you feel sexy that’s just ridiculous, leave that kind of thing for indoors when the curtains are closed lol)

There’s nothing wrong with being sexy and embracing your sexiness! You are a human being, therefore, you are a sexual, sensual being. Embrace it! Even the Bible discusses human sensuality. Read Song of Solomon sometimes known as Song of Song for more info: https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/sng/1/1/s_672001

I feel like sometimes as women we just give up sometimes. We think oh nobody is looking at me any more because:

  • I’m waaaay over 50 or
  • I have children or
  • I’ve put on a bit of weight or
  • I’ve been single for a long time or
  • I have glasses or freckles or or or or and so on!

Here’s my rebuttal:

  • FOR THE OVER 50 I SAY! see the picture below:

  • FOR THE OVERWEIGHT I SAY! Some people are overweight because of health reasons and consequently are unable to loose the excess, BUT let me tell you, men are simple creatures. They’ll look regardless…. Some guys like a woman with a big bum! lol. I’m pretty sure my bum gets looked at far more than my face! For those who are physically able to loose the weight, love yourself by having a healthy diet, this will make you loose weight through a process of self love and not self hatred. Exercise and have a healthy lifestyle for health reasons, not aesthetic reasons, it’ll improve your sex drive anyway.Say it with me: “I am loosing weight and having a healthy lifestyle because that will help me to be the best me that I can possibly be”. Don’t try to be a weight that is unhealthy for your frame, if you’re a tall woman you should be heavier than the average woman because there is more of you, if you’re a small woman, when you’ve lost the weight you would naturally be lighter than the average woman etc. To find out the healthy weight for you see the NHS BMI Calculator below for more info:
  • FOR THOSE WITH CHILDREN, your man is thinking some boobs are better than no boobs at all lol! If you cover up because YOU THINK you’re spent and no longer an object of sexual desire following the baby(ies) he’ll just stop initiating, for two reasons:
    • Firstly: because it hurts his feelings MORE THAN YOU KNOW to get knocked back constantly.
    • Secondly: not because he’s not interested in you but because you aren’t interested in you. Your intangible emotional disinterest in yourself is expressed through you tangibly, physically covering up your body in drabness. Listen very carefully, no man is going to intentionally make his life difficult by trying to penetrate the impenetrable. He loves you enough to marry you and put one baby in you and watch the baby come out of you and is still sticking around? Then he probably wants to put another baby in you as well, giving birth isn’t pretty, yet he stayed lol. You’re not giving him the chance to prove how much he loves you and how decent he is (or is not depending on the case). He wants the you he fell in love with, who was confident and loved herself and was emotionally self sufficient. He found your self confidence super sexy! You are sexy! Game face! You’re a Yummy Mummy now! Get rid of those gross old things that your grandmother wouldn’t be seen dead in and make or buy some new hot ones or alter the ones you have (they don’t have to be new), or don’t wear any at all! (in the house not outside, lets be decent…). Go have sex with your husband, initiate, he won’t mind lol. You don’t like the excess baby weight? Exercise! Stretch marks? Coconut oil! You can do this! If you’re a mother you’re a hero anyway! Go Supermum! Go!

  • FOR THE SINGLE I SAY! Get your sexy glad rags on FOR YOU not anybody else, you’re never going to attract anyone sulking in your sackcloth and ashes. Be confident, you know you’re sexy, work out FOR YOU. Then, naturally, with your hot body and confident personality that comes from self love and the knowledge that Jesus thinks you’re wonderful, you’re going to find someone, in the process of loving yourself. Then when that person finally arrives YOU WONT NEED their validation like oxygen, which means you won’t be an emotional parasite on them.

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I’m actually a lot healthier physically and emotionally since I’ve changed my mentality on the matter of sexy underwear, ok I would just like to say my previous pieces did not look like Granny underwear but I just avoided the super slinky hoochie mama stuff which I am now embracing and it totally shows on the outside. I hope by now you guys realise this post isn’t about sexy underwear at all it is in fact about the self confidence that precedes the life choice to decide to wear a particular garment and it’s about wearing nice things because you are worth it, nice things aren’t just for skinny people or young people or people in relationships, they are for everyone! They are for you!

So, I bought a lovely new strappy swimming costume. I want to fit it nicely, so I’ve been working out and eating the right things, this in turn has been giving me the shape I want, in a healthy way because I want to do that for me. This in turn is making me more physically fit which has improved my overall health. Now, since I’ve been working out for me, I’ve actually been more determined in my workout sessions and getting much better results and I actually get more male attention! huzzah! lol! I went to the mall the other day and the dudes were like “whoa!” and “oh yes!” like really loud hehehe. But I don’t care, their attention, which I think was directed at my lady lumps, doesn’t interest me and that is as it should be!!!! It was a welcome surprise and I was flattered but I do not live for the affirmation of others. This has come about because I walk around with my head up high, knowing Jesus loves me and has made me beautiful and I’m slowly but surely loving myself a lot more, not looking around for affirmation, my affirmation comes from the inside. I’m dressing my body in fun things to love me 🙂 and its an exciting experience! Who doesn’t like shopping? Or altering clothes? My mother was happily taking in some clothes yesterday, happily because she had lost weight lol. I’m not saying that I’ve got all this stuff down. I’m still a work in progress myself but bit by bit Jesus is helping me to love myself, not in an arrogant way but in a self confident way.

I bought my sexy strappy things, I’ve been working out so I fit them nicely and I am going to wear them, I don’t care who can or cannot see! Let the sexy underwear revolution begin! [see the video below].

Catherine x