[VIDEO] Review of last weeks topic: #HALT (#Hungry #Angry #Lonely #Tired)

Hey everybody!

In the spirit of taking it easy I have a video for you today just chatting about my feelings on last weeks topic found here : Hungry Angry Lonely Tired

(Video might be a bit quiet you might need to turn up the volume)

Enjoy!

Catherine x

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😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 #fullenglish

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HALT! – What Happened When I Was Hungry, Angry, Lonely & Tired! – #sex #music #Christian #Biblestudy

Dear all,

Have you heard of the acronym “HALT” stands for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired? It has consequences on your mind if you are in a place where you are all those things, leaving you vulnerable to relapse into a negative state and initiate a craving reaction… Being in a HALT state also shows that you are not taking care of yourself like you should. Here’s how it affected me the past two weeks.

What happened

Sometimes we can be called to do things but we allow the calling to become bigger than the One who called us. As I said, I’ve been overwhelmed with doing stuff, which made me Angry. This stuff was stuff which I should be doing and is important and vital to the continuation of the ministry at my church. However, I’ve been trying so hard that I even wasn’t reading my Bible as much as I should which made me spiritually Hungry and I felt Jesus was becoming jealous of the calling in that I was giving it more time that I was giving Him. So I finally finished what I had to do which was important and time sensitive and then I crashed in an emotionally/physically exhausted way (one night I even stayed up till after 8am doing stuff) because I was very Tired, on day I took off. That is when Jesus revealed the following to me whilst I was talking to Him please continue to read the following which happened last week:

I was sitting having a lovely day off and laying down having a conversation with Jesus on my bed and I noticed a few things different about that day. Firstly, the visions that Jesus shows me regularly came back. Jesus shows me visions and lots of other things regularly but since I was so busy I noticed they stopped, which made me a bit Lonely I thought maybe Jesus wasn’t showing me them because I was moving onto something else, no, I just was soo busy that what I was doing was competing for mental space with Jesus and Jesus was just not willing to compete but when I took a day off and Jesus was no longer in competition I noticed they came back.

Secondly, Jesus opened my eyes to the fact that I had been having nosebleeds for 2 weeks straight, culminating in a rather large one on the day I rested. I noticed it but I didn’t put two and two together to see the correlation between how much stress I was taking on and the nosebleeds. I had been internalizing so much stress and it was coming out as nosebleeds, I didn’t notice till I took a day off that I was not allowing Jesus to take my burdens and it was beginning to damage my health. How much stress does a person have to be under to have nosebleeds every day? Answer, a lot and to be so stressed that you don’t even realise it’s making you ill is dangerous. So again, by letting the calling become bigger than Jesus and taking on things all by myself I was damaging my health.

Anyway, revelations aside I felt like had quite a nice conversation with Jesus. I was feeling really quite tired by the end of the conversation as I had done stupid things like stayed up all night till past 8am in the morning working, so pulling proper all nighters and I was knackered by my day off.

So… I decided I would actually get into bed and lay down. I went to sleep, had a very strange dream and then woke up.

When I woke up, being in a HALT state had initiated a craving reaction and for the life of me I could not stop thinking about sex… I had very naughty thoughts (which I will not expand upon) solidly for a good hour or two about having sex in the control room of a music studio… I’m not even kidding, there was absolutely nothing else in my mind and it was as lucid as if I was there… (I’m definitely going to hide this blog post from my mother) I’m a musician. We are more prone to finding things like that sexy… Don’t judge meeeeeeeee!

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I couldn’t believe that I had actually thought such dirtiness just after having quite a nice, jovial conversation with Jesus before my nap.

And then I thought to myself:

“You know what? I’m not as good of a person as I thought I was”

and I shook my head at myself as I admitted my 29 year old humanity…

Normally, I avoid highly sexualised thoughts because firstly it’s a distraction and secondly it’s not good to focus on something that isn’t real. Lastly, there are Biblical reasons that revolve around how we are to conduct our thoughts and the Biblical mandate to not have sex before marriage (see my previous blog post about this)

  • I am not married so I need to rein it in for holiness reasons (and also for my own sanity…)
  • Jesus said that even if you think about doing a sin it’s just as bad as doing the sin. Sins can be committed both in our minds and by our actions. God tells us that we can sin in our minds just by lusting after someone. A person can sin by giving in to an inner emotion or passion and then dwelling on that emotion or passion like it says in Matthew 5:27-28:

(Matthew 5:27-28 NLT) “[27] “You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ [28] But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

  • Temptations are not from God but from Satan to drag us down and get us to do the bad things we are tempted to do and we should not meditate on our temptations. Sin does not occur when the emotion, thought, or passion first comes. However, if those thoughts are not resisted, then sin occurs when we give in to the emotion, thought or passion by dwelling on it (Never Thirsty 2019) like it says in James 1:12-15:

(James 1:12-15 NLT) “[12] God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. [13] And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. [14] Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. [15] These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.”

  • Additionally, what we think can make us dirty from the inside out as vocalised in Matthew 15:18-20

(Matthew 15:18-20 NLT) “[18] But the words you speak come from the heart–that’s what defiles you. [19] For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual immorality, theft, lying, and slander. [20] These are what defile you. Eating with unwashed hands will never defile you.””

  • A person sins by dwelling on something that God has told us to avoid. When we sin on the outside we demonstrate to God, to others, and to ourselves that we have already sinned on the inside. God has asked us to resist the temptation to sin by fleeing from it. We are not supposed to see how close we can come without sinning. Fleeing starts with avoiding thoughts about the sin as it says in Romans 16:19:

(Romans 16:19 NLT) “[19] But everyone knows that you are obedient to the Lord. This makes me very happy. I want you to be wise in doing right and to stay innocent of any wrong.”

We read in 2 Timothy 2:22 to also run away from anything that would stimulates “youthful lusts”.

(2 Timothy 2:22 NLT) “[22] Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.”

So we really shouldn’t be dwelling on nonsense that will stimulate us in a way that is not holy. Instead we should be focussing on living descent holy lives.

So it got me thinking, how did this happen? It happened because I was spiritually and probably physically hungry. I was angry, lonely in a spiritual and physical sense and I was spiritually and physically tired… This then kick-started an instinctive craving mode to try fill the gap normally occupied by Jesus who nourishes me, keeps me calm, gives me company and renews my strength because I was previously too busy to engage with Jesus.

So how do we deal with cravings/bad thoughts that come with being in a HALT state?

Read your Bible Daily – to avoid being spiritually Hungry

I admit it, I was not reading my Bible as much as I should, I can’t believe 2 weeks of not paying at much attention to Jesus as I should as well as skipping a few days of Bible reading and my mind went south, literally… lol. My mind was stressed and did not have it’s daily meal of the Word all the time and the word calms me down. So what did my mind then gravitate towards, something that would naturally calm a person down and give some sort of… umm… release? lol. Sex 🙂 you need to read your Bible every day. I read it morning and night. Read it more than you have to the Bible says we are supposed to meditate on the Word all the time. The Word is also food for our souls. My soul was half starved and hungry, no wonder I was thinking crazy things.

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Change your focus – to avoid being Angry

Stop making your primary focus on things to do with Jesus or your ministry or everything and start making your focus actually Jesus Christ. Stop focussing primarily on your problems and the people making your problems worse as this made me Angry and look for constructive solutions and make sure you always give Christ supremacy in your thoughts.

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Commit our thoughts to prayer – to avoid being Lonely

We commit them to prayer, my problem was that I was not talking to or thinking about Jesus as much as I should because I was so busy doing the things Jesus asked me to do. This made me Lonely. I then crashed (emotionally) it was only then that I noticed the vacuum in my brain where thoughts about and for Jesus would normally have inhabited. The vacuum was filled with sex, thoughts of sex anyway lol… I needed to pray more to inject my humanity with holiness.

(1 Thessalonians 5:17 NLT) “[17] Never stop praying.”

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Don’t overwork – to avoid being Tired

(Psalm 127:2 NLT) “[2] It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”

Does what it says on the tin really.

Conclusion

I was Hungry (spiritually starved), Angry (due to the people around me making my task more difficult), Lonely (from lack of interaction with Jesus) and Tired (from over working, I actually ended up in A&E for fatigue related accident, related to how tired I was from doing what I was doing). Apparently, when you are these things as a man you shouldn’t go on the internet…. Seems as though that works for women to! I didn’t go on the internet btw but my mind just went south lol.

On a separate note, I wrote a blog post about issues men have here: 3 Ways The Devil Tempts Men

  • Hungry – Eat your spiritual food which is reading the Bible
  • Angry – Change your focus to things for and of Jesus
  • Lonely – pray and talk to Jesus
  • Tired – Don’t overwork and give Jesus and your family the time they deserve

If it took two weeks of distraction, overwork, then me crashing, for my mind to be in the gutter goodness knows what other people who don’t read their Bible regularly or talk to Jesus regularly all year must be struggling with.

Here’s some resources:

https://healthypsych.com/h-a-l-t-hungry-angry-lonely-and-tired-a-self-care-tool/

https://bustedhalo.com/features/what-works-10-halt-hungry-angry-lonely-tired

https://bradfordhealth.com/halt-hunger-anger-loneliness-tiredness/

Catherine xxx

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#read your #bible!

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Bibliography

Never Thirsty, ‘When does thinking about a sin become a sin’ Never Thirsty Web site, at: <https://www.neverthirsty.org/bible-qa/qa-archives/question/when-does-thinking-about-a-sin-become-a-sin/&gt; 9 September 2019

SPECIAL EDITION: I Had A Vision Of #Heaven!!!!!!!!!! | #Jesus #Christian

I HAD A VISION YESTERDAY!

I was taken up to heaven and then taken into courtroom in heaven. God the Father was the judge. It was ornate like the Crown Court where the highest seat was reserved for the judge, which was God and there were places for Clerks and there were seats for the Defendant and Prosecution.

In this courtroom I had this sense that I was free but I saw where the Defendant would sit and I saw a young adult male, around my age (I’m 29 so around his early 30’s), sitting with his lawyer. He was in trouble and the court case that was happening in heaven was regarding him and he was talking with his lawyer.

The Defendant, so the person who was being accused, was wearing a dark grey almost black suit, he looked quite nice in it actually, I think he had a black skinny tie on and he was kind of tall. God also showed me that this guy told people he was a Christian. His lawyer was in a similar colour suit but was a bit shorter than the defendant and middle aged and was dressed smarter.

The lawyer was preparing all of the documents to make sure that the Defendant had every chance of a good defence, the lawyers body language suggested that this was crunch time and if this case didn’t win it was going to be hell for the young man.

I was in the audience part on the side of the Defendant, I was free to go where I wanted to but the Defendant had to stay put. Court had not started yet and everyone was not there but for some reason the Defendant had to turn up early with his lawyer. The movements of the Defendant because he was the Defendant were dictated to him because he was accused, so unlike me, he had to go where other people told him to go when they told him to go there.

As I said the court hadn’t started yet, people were moving around, the Defendant was there and only me in the audience, then for some reason the Defendant turned around looked me in the eyes and smiled. I got the feeling like he knew I was going to turn up, he knew I had his back and he knew I cared, which is why he turned around because he was expecting me.

Then something strange happened. I suddenly saw a vision within a vision. In this vision I saw the courtroom floor. Someone had dropped a USED CONDOM on the courtroom floor.

Now this signified several things:

  1. Contempt for God’s law
  2. Contempt for the institution of marriage because the person who did this NEEDED to used a condom because the person they were sleeping with they were not married to
  3. Contempt for the woman who had been slept with
  4. Contempt for sexual intimacy, this signified that sex didn’t mean much to the person who did this
  5. The person who used the condom had had sex in an inappropriate place that’s why the condom ended up somewhere it shouldn’t have.

When I was at university when you would walk to university there would be used condoms on the ground because people, who had no regard for themselves and didn’t fear God used to have sex in the alleyways then dump the used condoms. God was showing me that that’s what that situation meant.

The used condom was also evidence. IT WAS EVIDENCE AGAINST THE DEFENDANT!!!!! That was the reason why he was there. He had been sleeping with his girlfriend and God had finally had enough and the Devil was able to come before God and accuse the young man and the young man was now really in trouble. I am guessing the lawyer was either an angel or the Angel of the Lord as in Jesus.

The scary thing about this whole thing was that God revealed to me that this heavenly court case has not happened yet. I WAS ACTUALLY SEEING THE FUTURE!!!

There is somebody out there, around my age, male (obviously) sleeping with your girlfriend and God is about to run out of patience with you.

Please stop, God can see what you are doing. The Devil is laughing every time you sleep with your girlfriend because IT knows that you are digging yourself into a hole. And the Devil cannot wait to meet you in the afterlife. God sends people like me to intercede for you but I cannot pray you out of hell if you’re already there.

Stop it, stop it right now, ask forgiveness of your sins, find some bible believing guys who you can be accountable with, get prayer, discipleship, deliverance whatever you need to do to get right with God but please just stop sleeping with your girlfriend. Sex is for marriage only.

Your actions are irritating God and one day you will not be free.

Catherine

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Feeling better! 🙂

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More Dodgy Things People Say To Me On #OnlineDating Apps (and my #Christian response) No.2

Hey everyone,

This is another instalment and perhaps the last for a while of how things are going regarding my search for a mate!

This one is the typical problem I have, being a Christian female. There simply are not enough single, male Christians (who aren’t single for a good reason lol…) around the age of 18-35 in the church globally. So a young adult Christian woman, like myself, who no longer wishes to be single has to go elsewhere. However, guys who aren’t Christians often want things that we Christian young women cannot give.

Observe: (I AM THE PURPLE BUBBLE)

btw just to clarify the person I was speaking to was not a Christian

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At this point I’m thinking to myself…wait, did he just ask me if I wanted to sit on his face? I’m guessing he doesn’t mean he wants to give me a piggy back ride or maybe put me on his shoulders so we can go apple picking lol.

So I decided, this isn’t going to work as usual lol so I’m going to witness to him instead so I said:

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Now, I must admit that I was a little turned on by that last comment… I’m only human lol

I wrote a song to that effect:

Pretty smooth lol. HOWEVER! I am a Christian and Jesus says that we are not supposed to have sex before marriage so I moved on.

Also – if you read the above carefully you can make a couple of assumptions, seems as though because he thinks I’m hot I get sex AND good times, presumably the ones he thinks are ugly he just sleeps with and doesn’t take them out? Read it again, that’s the assumption I came to?

Anyway… it ended like this:

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Can’t win ’em all!

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Let’s just corporately commit that guy to prayer……

Anyway, I can definitely see the futility of what I am doing…… I’m trying to not do something with people who want to do that thing with me a lot and expecting them to live in a way that is unnatural to them and they are expecting me to live in a way that is unnatural to me:

See the source image

Anyhoo, anyone who knows a nice guy who is single and willing to mingle and not penetrate me before marriage (because I have a right to not be penetrated before marriage if I don’t want to….) let me know!

Catherine x

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Feeling better! 🙂

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Hey Hey Hey! Just a quick thought??

Hey!

Just a quick one tonight. I was thinking. If God had made Eve/Women first, when the animals were made, to find company for the human, Eve would have looked around at all the baby ducks and the horses and been like, “Yeah! This is great! Thanks Jesus!”. Then she would have continued to live in the Garden of Eden, naked, happily and there would have been no more humans as man would never have been made lol.

I put this idea to one of my Christian male associates.

He didn’t seem to think it was funny.

lol…

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lol eating…

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The 7 Kinds Of Love

Hey everyone,

I feel the need to talk about love and the different kinds of love. I don’t know why but I hope this helps someone. A lot of this is available on Wikipedia but I have just put it all in one place for you!

The ancient Greeks had various words to describe “love” and the various forms it comes in. Let’s have a look at the first one in no particular order:

1), Agápe (ἀγάπη)

Agápe (ἀγάπη) – love: esp. charity; the love of God for man and of man for a good God (Liddell and Scott 2010, p.4). Agape is used in ancient texts to denote feelings for one’s children and the feelings for a spouse. Also, used by Christians to express the unconditional love of God for his children (Romans 5:5; 5:8) (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). In his book The Four Loves (1960), C. S. Lewis describes this as the love that exists regardless of changing circumstances and recognizes this selfless love as the greatest of the four loves and a specifically Christian virtue to achieve (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee wrote a set of typologies about love (types of things) in his book Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving (1973) and these are Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Attracted to several types of people
  • Meets people easily so most likely will begin with a stranger
  • Feels concern and care for each partner they have
  • Is neither jealous nor obsessive
  • Enjoys sex and is willing to improve it (Sternberg 1988, p.48) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

2.) Éros (ἔρως)

Éros (ἔρως) – love, mostly of the sexual passion (Liddell and Scott 2019, ἔρως) The Modern Greek word “erotas” means “intimate love”. In the Symposium (360 B.C.), the most famous ancient work on the subject, Plato has Socrates argue that eros helps the soul recall knowledge of beauty, and understanding of spiritual truth, the ideal “Form” of youthful beauty that leads us humans to feel erotic desire, that is, finding its truth, just like finding any truth, leads to transcendence (Plato 1973) (360 B.C.) (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). Lewis saw this love in the sense of “being in love” or “loving” someone, as opposed to raw sexuality (Lewis 1960, pp.108-109). Additionally, Lewis also warned against the modern tendency for Eros to become a god to people, a justification for selfishness and even a phallic religion (Lewis 1960 pp.127-132, 113). After exploring sexual activity he also notes how Eros (or being in love) is in itself an indifferent, neutral force (Lewis 1960, p.124) (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Feels strong physical and emotional connection through the relationship
  • Begins with a partner who is a stranger and evokes immediate excitement
  • May be exclusive but not possessive
  • Seeks early sexual adventure, variety and technique
  • Is ready for love and its risks (Sternberg 1988, p.51) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

3.) Philia (φιλία philía)

Philia (φιλία philía) – affectionate regard, friendship, usually between equals (Liddell and Scott 2019, φιλία). It is a dispassionate virtuous love, a concept developed by Aristotle (Internet Encyclopaedia of Philosophy 2014). In his work on ethics, Nicomachean Ethics (350 B.C.), Philia is expressed variously as loyalty to friends, family and community and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). In the same fashion Lewis saw Philia as the friendship love also and a strong bond existing between people who share common values, interests or activities (Hooper 1996, p.654). Lewis differentiates friendship love from the other loves describing it as “…the least biological, organic, instinctive, gregarious and necessary…the least natural of loves” (Lewis 1960, p.70). He expresses a strong distaste for the way modern society ignores friendship and felt that few people in modern society could value at its worth, as so few actually experienced true friendship (Lewis 1960, pp.77, 84–85, 70) (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Storge is also used to describe this kind of love and Lee uses it instead of Philia so does not provide recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love). See below for Lee’s recognizable traits for a person exhibiting Storge.

4.) Storge (στοργή)

Storge (στοργή storgē) – love, affection and especially of parents and children (Liddell and Scott 2019, στοργή). It is the common or natural empathy, like that felt by parents for offspring (Strong et al 2008, p.228). Rarely used in ancient works and even then almost exclusively as a descriptor of relationships within the family. It is also known to express putting up with situations, as in “loving” the tyrant. This is also used when referencing the love for one’s country or sports team (Wikipedia 2019, Greek words for love). Lewis has an interesting take on this kind of love, describing it as liking someone through the fondness of familiarity, for example, the natural love and affection of a parent for their child. Lewis describes this as the most natural, emotive and widely diffused of loves. Natural because it is present without coercion, emotive because it is the result of fondness due to familiarity and most widely diffused because it pays the least attention to those characteristics deemed worthy of love and as a result, able to transcend most discriminating factors (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Is not looking for love but is ready if encountered
  • Quietly possessive but not overly jealous
  • Believes love comes from friendship but not a goal of life
  • Only has sexual desires after commitment is declared (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

5.) Ludus

Ludus – “game” in Latin (hence the name of the game Ludo, remember that? Old Schooool! Totally showing my age!!! lol). Lee uses the term to describe those who see love as a desiring to want to have fun with each other, to do activities, tease, indulge and play harmless pranks on each other (like me lol). The acquisition of love and attention itself may be part of the game (Lee 1973, p.16) (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Ludic lovers want to have as much fun as possible.
  • When they are not seeking a stable relationship, they rarely or never become overly involved with one partner and often can have more than one partner at a time.
  • They don’t reveal their true thoughts and feelings to their partner, especially if they think they can gain some kind of advantage over their partner. The expectation may also be that the partner is also similarly minded.
  • If a relationship materializes it would be about having fun and indulging in activities together.
  • This love style carries the likelihood of infidelity.
  • In its most extreme form, Ludic love can become sexual addiction (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

6.) Mania

Mania – from the Latin for “mental disorder”, from which we get the term “manic” or mainiac! Lee defines manic love as flowing out of a desire to hold one’s partner in high esteem and wanting to love and be loved in this way. This type of love leads a partner into a type of madness and obsession. It is a mix between Ludus and Eros.

Manic lovers speak of their partners in possessives and feel they “need” their partners. Love is a means of rescue or a reinforcement of value. Manic lovers value finding a partner through chance without prior knowledge of financial, educational, or personality dispositions.

Insufficient expression of the love of mania by one’s partner can cause one to perceive the partner as aloof, materialistic and detached. Lewis doesn’t go into this in the book, probably because Mania isn’t love at all.

Lee’s recognizable traits of a person exhibiting this kind of love:

  • Anxious about falling in love and has expectations of pain
  • Quickly becomes overwhelmed by thoughts of their partner
  • Forces partner into showing affection and emotion
  • Is easily frustrated and does not enjoy sexual intimacy
  • Is very possessive and jealous (Wikipedia 2019, Color wheel theory of love).

7.) Pragma

Pragma – from a Greek term meaning “businesslike”. Lee defines Pragma as the most practical type of love and not necessarily derived out of true romantic love, rather, Pragma is a convenient type of love.

Pragmatic lovers have a notion of being of service, which they perceive to be rational and realistic. This also translates to having expectations of a partner and of the relationship. They tend to select and reject partners based on what they perceive as desirable, compatible traits. Pragmatic lovers want to find value in their partners, and ultimately want to work with their partner to reach a common goal. The practicality and realism of pragmatic love often aides longevity of the relationship, as long as common goals and values remain shared for the duration.

In a culture where arranged marriage is practiced, pragmatic love is very common at the time of mate selection. Values are likely to be shared by a couple in developing countries, where survival and wealth building are often prioritized over other life pursuits.

Lee’s recognizable traits:

  • Certain of their preferable “types”
  • Begins a relationship with an already familiar person
  • Believes a loving relationship is desirable for a happy life
  • Expects reciprocation of feelings
  • Believes sexual compatibility can be worked out (Sternberg 1988, p.51).

Further Theories On Love By C. S. Lewis

C. S. Lewis distinguishes between three main kinds of love Need/Gift Love, Pleasure and Appreciation Love.

Need- Love and Gift- Love
Need-Love – as the love of a child for its mother. However, a child’s need for parental comfort is a necessity, not a selfish indulgence. Gift-Love – epitomized by God’s love for humanity to the disparagement of the former (Lewis 1960, pp.9-12).

Pleasure and Appreciation Love
Lewis distinguishes Need-Pleasures e.g. such as water for the thirsty from Pleasures of Appreciation, such as the love of nature (Lewis 1960, pp.20; 27) from the latter. He developed what he called “a third element in love … Appreciative love” (Lewis 1960, p.26) to go along with Need-love and Gift-love (Wikipedia 2019, The Four Loves).

In my mind I rationalise it like this – Need/Gift Love is “I need you”. Need-Pleasure Love is “I want you” and Pleasure/Appreciation Love is “I want you because I need you”.

Catherine’s Thoughts On The Matter

I think I personally am a mixture of a couple of those loves, they show what I have said for ages. Love is an emotion that comes from being physically around someone. Real loves is bourne out of real life situations. Sometimes what you are feeling is not love at all it’s Maaaanniiiiaaa! Simple Ludus or Pure unadulterated Eros!

So back to my point that I keep on going on and on and on about…

You cannot fall in love with someone purely based on your interaction with them online. If you have not met them in person and do not have a real life physical rapport with them, it’s not love. You are in love with the idea of them, as without meeting them in real life, you cannot possibly know who or what they actually are. Your relationship is with your computer or smartphone via WhatsApp, Twitter, Facebook or even WordPress!

Do you find that when you see those little notifications from that person you have been stalking online ahem *cough* I mean that person you chat to online… that you begin to get a bit turned on? It’s not because you are truly in love with that person. You just enjoy the rush of interacting with them or stalking them online and you have conditioned your brain to receive pleasure from that kind of interaction, instead of interaction with a human face to face.

It’s not my place to judge why people do these things, I am just pointing out the flaws in such interaction. I’m just saying, God made humans as two naked people. Naked to show the intimacy and transparency that comes from real friendships.

Genesis 2:21-25 [NLT]
“So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. [23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.”

God didn’t make Adam and a computer screen with Eve sitting in some other part of the Garden of Eden. Humans are supposed to be relational and together, face to face, more often than not. Online interaction is not a substitute for real life relationships.

Follow this link to read my previous blog post on this issue, it’s important > Can you fall in #love with someone #online? #onlinedating #communication #internet #relationships

Catherine x (do not misinterpret that as a kiss…)

Bibliography

Books

Hooper, W. 1996. C. S. Lewis: A Companion & Guide. United Kingdom: Harper Collins Pub Ltd

Lee, J. A. 1973. Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving. Toronto: New Press.

Lewis, C. S. 1960. The Four Loves. London: Geoffrey Bles

Liddell, H. G. and R. Scott. 2010. An Intermediate Greek-English Lexicon: Founded Upon The Seventh Edition Of Liddell And Scott’s Greek-English Lexicon. United Kingdom: Benediction Classics.

Plato. 1973. The Symposium. W. Hamilton Trans. 1973. Repr. Harmondsworth: Penguin.

Sternberg, R. J. 1988. Triangulating Love. In The Psychology Of Love, R. J. Sternberg & M. Barnes eds, pp.119–138. New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.

Strong B, W., L. Yarber, B. W. Sayad and C. Devault. 2008. Human sexuality: diversity in contemporary America. 6th edn. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Websites

Aristotle. 350 B.C. ‘Nicomachean Ethics. Trans W. D. Ross’ The Internet Classics Archive Web site, at: <http://classics.mit.edu/Aristotle/nicomachaen.8.viii.html&gt; 02 May 2019

Internet Encyclopaedia Of Philosophy. 2014. ‘b. Philia’ Internet Encyclopaedia of Philosophy Web site, at: <https://www.iep.utm.edu/love/#SH1b&gt; 24 August 2014.

Liddell, H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘ἔρως’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3De)%2Frws> 02 May 2019

Liddell H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘στοργή’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3Dfili%2Fa&gt; 02 May 2019

Liddell H. G. and R. Scott. 2019. ‘φιλία’ Perseus Web site, at: <http://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.04.0057%3Aentry%3Dfili%2Fa&gt; 02 May 2019

Plato. 360 B.C. ‘Symposium. Trans. B. Jowett.’, The Internet Classics Archive Web site, at: <http://classics.mit.edu/Plato/symposium.html&gt; 02 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘Color wheel theory of love’, Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color_wheel_theory_of_love&gt; 01 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘Greek word for love’, Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love&gt; 1 May 2019

Wikipedia. 2019. ‘The Four Loves’ Wikipedia Web site, at: <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves&gt; 01 May 2019

FYI – remember that new #song I wrote? I put it on #SoundCloud! Listen to it here. | #acoustic #freelance

Hey everybody,

Just a quick FYI – you remember I wrote a new song? Well I realised I hadn’t put it up on SoundCloud so now I have 🙂 Enjoy!

Here’s a playlist with more of my acoustic songs:

Here it is again on YouTube and – PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL!

Catherine x

View this post on Instagram

Feeling better! 🙂

A post shared by C-C Hope-Rivers (@hopeflowslikerivers) on

[Video] I Wrote A New #Song! – #music #youtube #singersongwriter #freelance #acousticguitar –>

Hey everybody!

I thought it would be nice to take a little break from long blog posts and #PhD posts!

I wrote a new song! (Check out my other music by following this link) I came up with this song one day when I was really sick and laying in bed. Again, inspired by my favourite book of the bible, Song of Songs. I love the metaphor!

Like Song of Songs it has 3 levels of symbolism. It is a love song between a woman and a man, (where the woman is the one who pursues the man which is an aspect particular to this book of the bible), it is also representative of how women and men should behave in relationships but it also represents the relationship between the church (who is always represented as a bride in the bible) and Jesus (who is sometimes represented as a bridegroom in the bible). It’s a call to Jesus to just have His way in your life 🙂

If you like what you see please subscribe to my YouTube channel!

If you have questions about Jesus try the Alpha Course: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98KX77XLoCg

Catherine x

[Video] How I compose #music | #composer #Christian #Jesus #acousticguitar #guitar #arranger #femaleacousticguitarist

Hey hey hey!

One of my key skills is arranging and orchestrating. I learned these skills during school and honed them during my BA (Hons) Popular Music & Record Production and my Masters of Music in Music Composition.

Basically, an Arranger will take an existing piece of music and “rearrange” it for maybe more instruments, less instruments aka a Piano Reduction for example or even a whole different set of instruments for a performance. This forum post gives a good explanation. An Orchestrator is similar to an arranger but instead they take bits from a composers drafts and basically carry on the piece/project, expanding it to an orchestra or other ensemble but maintain it within the style of the original composer. Sometimes a composer will maybe play music to the orchestrator and ask them to make it into a score. I can do that.

Anyway, I just wanted to show you an examples of my work on other people’s pieces then show you something I did!

So this example is my most popular arrangement/orchestration:

For more examples of my Arrangements and Orchestrating follow this link

I Will Always Return Soundtrack Version (End Title) – by Bryan Adams

This piece was originally for Solo Tenor, Pop Band and Orchestra, I rearranged it for Harp and String Orchestra.

  • I Will Always Return Soundtrack Version (End Title) by Bryan Adams Arr. C. Waithe-Arnold

This was one I did for my masters:

De pas sur la neige – by Debussy

This piece was originally for solo piano. Not one of Debussy’s most interesting pieces but it wasn’t my choice… I expanded the piano score into an orchestral score and composed/arranged in the style of Debussy.

  • De pas sur la neige – Orchestrated & Arr. by Catherine Waithe-Arnold

I do this kind of thing constantly in my work either when I do arrangements for the Worship band or something I’ve knocked up at the request of one of my students and I am thankful to Jesus for giving me the skills to do such a thing. It’s incredibly handy!

I thought I would show you how I compose. Basically, I compose by arranging and orchestrating my own music. So I work from a basic arrangement more often than not, me singing on with my guitar, then I expand that to orchestra + band or something else. Lets look at a few examples of my own work:

I Can’t Believe The Colour!

Originally for Acoustic Guitar and Soprano Solo:

  • I Can’t Believe The Colour [Backing Track] – Orchestration & Arr. by Catherine Waithe-Arnold

I gave the backing track so you can just see what it is that I did with the instruments

Here’s me performing the full track:

So you see how everything comes together!

Now for another example!

I’m Only Human All Of The Time

Here’s the original! Again, for Soprano voice and Acoustic Guitar

Jesus gives me soo many good ideas! So I reworked this to be for Soprano voice and Piano ending up being this:

We Will Fall In Love

I wrote this song for friends, when I played harp at their wedding, it’s about two people who get married when they are middle aged but it still feels just as exciting as when they were young. Which is what happened to my friends!

With the help of my two guy friends it turned into a piece for Guitar, Soprano voice, Solo Elec guitar and Keyboard. Unreal!

The Herdsman’s Son and The Foundling

Again this song started out as me and my guitar

But then I thought I mustn’t be lazy and so I found something to hit, I got out my Irish Penny Whistle (yes that’s me playing, I wish I recorded me playing it lol) and my Harp (this is what sounds like an acoustic bass) and made it into a pop/folk arrangement, plus backing vox! Then I just overlaid it onto the audio from the video, so the audio was ripped from the video, added to, then put back. Processed to within an inch of it’s life… lol

Ok so last one! My Favourite one! 😛

I Hope The Neighbours Don’t See

Original version was for again Soprano voice (aka me) and Acoustic Guitar like 99% of my songs.

I then thought, I can do better! So Jesus helped me to do so! In case you’re wondering what on earth that song is about read this: Explaination of my song about sex!

So I decided to add some pop arrangement, plus some orchestral instruments (because I enjoy the sound of the orchestra and I am trained to arrange and orchestrate anyway) to it to make this: Pop/orchestral fusion, that’s my speciality. (Soprano Vox, Female Backing Vox, Acoustic Guitar, Bass Guitar, Drum Kit, Piano, String Orchestra)

Then afterwards I thought, you know what? I want to strip this back, back to my roots and love of soft, relaxing music, so I stripped it down to make a version String Orchestra, Piano, Soprano Vox and Female Backing Vox, This one is my favourite orchestration/arrangement.

Enjoy 🙂

Lots of love and Copyright © 2018 Catherine Waithe-Arnold 😛

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I Think All #WOMEN should wear #SEXY #UNDERWEAR / #LINGERIE And This Is Why…

Dear All,

So last month was my birthday and I was assessing the last 28 years and I was thinking when I have this, I’m going to do this and that. When I eventually get here, I’m going to stay here and do this. When I finally stop being single, I’m going to do this, that and the other, with my man and I’m going to buy a whole load of sexy clothes that I think a man might enjoy seeing me in bahahahahaha!

Then it hit me! – hold on – why am I waiting to get married before I wear sexy underwear?!!??!?! I was like:

“Oh no no no no no! Catherine you don’t dress your body for men, you dress your body in what makes you feel good and sexy because you’re worth it! You should feel good and sexy without the validation of a man. You shouldn’t need a man to say “ooo yeah!” at you before you feel sexy. The sexiness needs to come from the inside!”

So I marched over to Ann Summers and I bought the sexiest things I could find on the shelves (I was actually surprised at how tame the garments in there were) because it doesn’t matter if a man is going to see you or not. You see you and you should dress up for you, you’re worth it! If it makes you feel good and sexy, DO IT! (Within reason people… E.g. don’t walk around naked in public because it makes you feel sexy that’s just ridiculous, leave that kind of thing for indoors when the curtains are closed lol)

There’s nothing wrong with being sexy and embracing your sexiness! You are a human being, therefore, you are a sexual, sensual being. Embrace it! Even the Bible discusses human sensuality. Read Song of Solomon sometimes known as Song of Song for more info: https://www.blueletterbible.org/nlt/sng/1/1/s_672001

I feel like sometimes as women we just give up sometimes. We think oh nobody is looking at me any more because:

  • I’m waaaay over 50 or
  • I have children or
  • I’ve put on a bit of weight or
  • I’ve been single for a long time or
  • I have glasses or freckles or or or or and so on!

Here’s my rebuttal:

  • FOR THE OVER 50 I SAY! see the picture below:

  • FOR THE OVERWEIGHT I SAY! Some people are overweight because of health reasons and consequently are unable to loose the excess, BUT let me tell you, men are simple creatures. They’ll look regardless…. Some guys like a woman with a big bum! lol. I’m pretty sure my bum gets looked at far more than my face! For those who are physically able to loose the weight, love yourself by having a healthy diet, this will make you loose weight through a process of self love and not self hatred. Exercise and have a healthy lifestyle for health reasons, not aesthetic reasons, it’ll improve your sex drive anyway.Say it with me: “I am loosing weight and having a healthy lifestyle because that will help me to be the best me that I can possibly be”. Don’t try to be a weight that is unhealthy for your frame, if you’re a tall woman you should be heavier than the average woman because there is more of you, if you’re a small woman, when you’ve lost the weight you would naturally be lighter than the average woman etc. To find out the healthy weight for you see the NHS BMI Calculator below for more info:
  • FOR THOSE WITH CHILDREN, your man is thinking some boobs are better than no boobs at all lol! If you cover up because YOU THINK you’re spent and no longer an object of sexual desire following the baby(ies) he’ll just stop initiating, for two reasons:
    • Firstly: because it hurts his feelings MORE THAN YOU KNOW to get knocked back constantly.
    • Secondly: not because he’s not interested in you but because you aren’t interested in you. Your intangible emotional disinterest in yourself is expressed through you tangibly, physically covering up your body in drabness. Listen very carefully, no man is going to intentionally make his life difficult by trying to penetrate the impenetrable. He loves you enough to marry you and put one baby in you and watch the baby come out of you and is still sticking around? Then he probably wants to put another baby in you as well, giving birth isn’t pretty, yet he stayed lol. You’re not giving him the chance to prove how much he loves you and how decent he is (or is not depending on the case). He wants the you he fell in love with, who was confident and loved herself and was emotionally self sufficient. He found your self confidence super sexy! You are sexy! Game face! You’re a Yummy Mummy now! Get rid of those gross old things that your grandmother wouldn’t be seen dead in and make or buy some new hot ones or alter the ones you have (they don’t have to be new), or don’t wear any at all! (in the house not outside, lets be decent…). Go have sex with your husband, initiate, he won’t mind lol. You don’t like the excess baby weight? Exercise! Stretch marks? Coconut oil! You can do this! If you’re a mother you’re a hero anyway! Go Supermum! Go!

  • FOR THE SINGLE I SAY! Get your sexy glad rags on FOR YOU not anybody else, you’re never going to attract anyone sulking in your sackcloth and ashes. Be confident, you know you’re sexy, work out FOR YOU. Then, naturally, with your hot body and confident personality that comes from self love and the knowledge that Jesus thinks you’re wonderful, you’re going to find someone, in the process of loving yourself. Then when that person finally arrives YOU WONT NEED their validation like oxygen, which means you won’t be an emotional parasite on them.

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I’m actually a lot healthier physically and emotionally since I’ve changed my mentality on the matter of sexy underwear, ok I would just like to say my previous pieces did not look like Granny underwear but I just avoided the super slinky hoochie mama stuff which I am now embracing and it totally shows on the outside. I hope by now you guys realise this post isn’t about sexy underwear at all it is in fact about the self confidence that precedes the life choice to decide to wear a particular garment and it’s about wearing nice things because you are worth it, nice things aren’t just for skinny people or young people or people in relationships, they are for everyone! They are for you!

So, I bought a lovely new strappy swimming costume. I want to fit it nicely, so I’ve been working out and eating the right things, this in turn has been giving me the shape I want, in a healthy way because I want to do that for me. This in turn is making me more physically fit which has improved my overall health. Now, since I’ve been working out for me, I’ve actually been more determined in my workout sessions and getting much better results and I actually get more male attention! huzzah! lol! I went to the mall the other day and the dudes were like “whoa!” and “oh yes!” like really loud hehehe. But I don’t care, their attention, which I think was directed at my lady lumps, doesn’t interest me and that is as it should be!!!! It was a welcome surprise and I was flattered but I do not live for the affirmation of others. This has come about because I walk around with my head up high, knowing Jesus loves me and has made me beautiful and I’m slowly but surely loving myself a lot more, not looking around for affirmation, my affirmation comes from the inside. I’m dressing my body in fun things to love me 🙂 and its an exciting experience! Who doesn’t like shopping? Or altering clothes? My mother was happily taking in some clothes yesterday, happily because she had lost weight lol. I’m not saying that I’ve got all this stuff down. I’m still a work in progress myself but bit by bit Jesus is helping me to love myself, not in an arrogant way but in a self confident way.

I bought my sexy strappy things, I’ve been working out so I fit them nicely and I am going to wear them, I don’t care who can or cannot see! Let the sexy underwear revolution begin! [see the video below].

Catherine x