Beware Of Nice #Church #Guys |#Christianity #relationships #phd #men

Hey everyone,

Sorry my blog posts have been a bit sparse for the last two weeks, as you know I’m self employed so I, like every other self employed individual in the country, have been frantically trying to finish my Tax Return (and gathering money to pay my taxes lol) before the deadline to avoid the £100 fine! Blogging came second to that I’m sorry lol. Anyway, it’s submitted now and I can get back to blogging.

I’ve been meditating on something someone said to me a while back. “Why don’t you just find a nice guy from church?”

Well….. that’s making some pretty big assumptions, like the idea that they are all “nice” for a start:
They are only men

Christian men are just that… they are men. They have the same stupidness festering at the back of their minds that other men do, it’s just the way they deal with it is different. Or at least it’s supposed to be. Don’t expect too much from them hah hah! They have the same struggles. Any Christian guys reading this, well… whatever naughty thoughts they were ever going to have about me, trust me, they have already had them as soon as they saw I posted something on FB/Twitter/LinkedIn… In fact, it’s probably the reason why they even read my blog in the first place… regardless of whether they are in a relationship or not.

A guy could be one thing leading worship on stage and then behind closed doors he’s a gimp! Women have literally died, literally, when they just assumed that a guy was one thing because he said he was.

I’ve always said that the only difference between a Christian guy and a guy who isn’t a Christian is thus – they both want to have sex with you in the back of their car it’s just you expect the Christian guy to have the decency to marry you first… and that’s it!

The moment some exegete find any scrap of evidence that you CAN in fact have sex before marriage, they are all going to be at it like no body’s business… Do not be under any illusions, that nice church boy wants to put his penis in your daughters vagina. Yeah he’s waiting but with the end game of penetration.

The problem with being a woman is that a man who just wants a place to park his penis for the night wants to have sex with you and a man who is attracted to you, utterly loves the very ground you walk on and is completely dedicated to your personal and spiritual development is also a man who wants to have sex with you. When both kinds of men are expressing the same kind of desire towards you it can be difficult to tell which man you should be with! Some Christian guys are just getting married JUST so they can have sex with the young woman they like. I’ve heard these horror stories and they all ended in divorce unfortunately because they slept with each other, then immediately realised that all they had in their relationship was the anticipation of sex, they had sex and then relationship was done literally within a few hours of marriage. It’s sad but this is happening in the church, right now because there are guys whose motivation is not what it should be.
You cannot make assumptions about anyone’s Christianity

Not every person who says they are a Christian is a Christian. Only Jesus knows not who but WHAT is actually sitting in the pews. It says in the Bible:

(Matthew 7:21 NLT) “[21] “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter.”

Some people are just IN the church but they are not OF the church. On more than one occasion I’ve had guys, church guys, who seem soo nice and sweet at church and good, call/fb message/etc me to ask to see me naked… I’m not even joking. I wish I was, this has happened people! I’ve just stopped taking certain peoples calls/whatsapp/fb friend requests now lol. We’re not supposed to have sex or do highly intimate and sexual things before marriage! I’ve blogged about this! (follow this link for more information). I’m not saying we can’t kiss but good gracious! Stop asking! It’s not going to happen! These people are not Christians, soo many guys I’ve met and I’ve realised that they are just there (as in at church) so as not to upset their mum or their grandmother but they don’t believe it and at the first opportunity they misbehave.

Some guys they just think that it’s ok to go up to the boundary but it’s not ok to cross the boundary. The boundary is a marker of where you should not be, it’s a warning sign that you are going to the outer limits and YOU NEED TO TURN BACK! So many times guys who I thought were Christian tried to encourage me to do things with them that I should not and I’m thinking “…what’s going on?!!?? I thought you and I went to church??…”.

You have got to be careful. Only Jesus knows what is really going on in a man’s mind.
Male headship and female submission theologies make Christian men mistreat women (this bit is in my PhD)

Christianity, like mainstream European/British/American culture is patriarchal (men leading follow this link for a dictionary explanation) this mixture of religion and male headship/female submission ideals have been proven to be dangerous for women, as religion and spirituality can overtly and covertly promote abuse (Yick 2008, p.1289) and the greatest predictors of violence against women are environments that support male control and male authority over female behaviour (Heise and Kotsadam 2015, e333). As a result, the Christian environment can be predicted (and proven) to be an abusive atmosphere for women, as it is already known that Christianity is patriarchal in nature and patriarchy fosters and cultivates environments where men seek to control or abuse women (Wall 2014). Furthermore, Christian teachings can be used to enforce patriarchal marital roles, e.g. male leadership/control and female submission (Aune & Barnes 2018, p.10).

The cocktail of sexist ideas towards women and faith have been proved to be unsafe for women in churches. In a study conducted in Christian homes in North America, it was found that physical abuse rates of Christian women are similar to societal rates (Annis and Rice 2001). This was found to translate in UK churches where a study conducted in Cumbria found that when all forms of domestic abuse are included, the evidence (e.g. Wang et al. 2009) suggests that there is not a significant difference in rates of abuse when churchgoers are compared with non-churchgoers. Conservative ideas on female submission and male headship and a culture of silence were found to blame in many of these cases (Aune & Barnes 2018). Shockingly, it was also found by S. Tracey (2008) that evangelical men who sporadically attend church are more likely than men of any other religious group, even more likely than secular men, to assault their wives (Tracey 2008, p.16). Knickmeyer et al. (2010) interviewed Christian women who said their husbands used conservative Christian theological ideas of male headship and female submission as sanction to abuse them (Knickmeyer, Levitt & Horne 2010, p.102), compelling their wives to submit to their authority because they said the Bible required it. Christian teachings can also be used to pressure women to forgive too quickly or to see abuse as their “cross to bear” (Nason-Clark 2004 p.304). Interestingly, mainline protestant churches have been quicker to respond to the issue of domestic abuse than evangelicals, the most conservative of whom continue to publish marriage advice literature that ignores the problem (Aune & Barnes 2018, p.12).

The Bible, when properly translated, is egalitarian but as men are often holders of knowledge and therefore… power, they are not forthcoming with this information. This is because if the women understood that they are equal as leaders to men they would rise up, become more independent and the men would loose their ability to control them. For further reading on this topic I suggest starting with “What Paul Really Said About Women” by John Temple Bristow. I say start here because it’s not super long but is still academically rigorous – here’s the link for the book on Amazon https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Paul-Really-about-Women/dp/0060610638.
Conclusion

If there is a Christian guy who is interested in your daughter you should exercise the same level of caution and suspicion that you would with any man. Some Christian guy’s are in fact a larger more pressing threat, more dangerous than your normal man because he appears non-threatening and “safe” so you trust him more and scrutinize him less, then happily leave him alone with your daughter, not realising that she is actually just his prey. He knows you are more willing to look away and trust him because he’s a “good church boy” and you want your daughter to be with someone “nice” and “successful”. He uses this to his advantage. However, if it has a penis it will try and find a vagina to put it in so be careful how much freedom you have with him. Everyone has a point in which they will just give in.

Arm yourselves with knowledge and stop being so gosh darn naive.

P.S. some are really nice this is not true of every Christian man you just have to pray that you found the right one and use discernment.

Catherine x

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Bibliography

Annis, W. and R. R. Rice. 2001. A Survey of Abuse Prevalence in the Christian Reformed Church. Journal of Religion and Abuse. 3:3-4, 7-40

Aune, K. & R Barnes. 2018. In Churches Too: Church Responses to Domestic Abuse – A case study of Cumbria. Coventry: Coventry University and Leicester: University of Leicester.

Heise, L. L. and A. Kotsadam. 2015. Cross-national and multilevel correlates of partner violence: an analysis of data from population-based surveys. The Lancet Global Health. 3, e332-340.

Knickmeyer, N., H. Levitt, & S. G. Horne. 2010. Putting on Sunday Best: The Silencing of Battered Women within Christian Faith Communities. Feminism & Psychology, 20:1, 94-113.

Nason-Clark, N. 2004. When Terror Strikes at Home: The Interface Between Religion and Domestic Violence. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, 43:3, 303-310.

Tracey, S. R. 2008. What Does “Submit In Everything” Really Mean? The Nature And Scope Of Marital Submission. TRINJ. 29, 285-312

Wall, L. 2014. ‘Gender equality and violence against women: What’s the connection?’ Australian Government, Australian Institute of Family Studies Web site, at: <https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/ressum7.pdf&gt; 2 March 2018

Wang, M-C, S. G. Horne, H. M. Levitt & L. M. Klesges. 2009. Christian Women in IPV Relationships: An Exploratory Study of Religious Factors. Journal of Psychology and Christianity. 28:3, 224-235.

Yick, A. G. 2008. A Metasynthesis of Qualitative Findings on the Role of Spirituality and Religiosity Among Culturally Diverse Domestic Violence Survivors. Qualitative Health Research, 18:9, 1289-1306.

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The 5 kinds of guy I have encountered whilst #onlinedating… | #love #marriage #datingapps #vagina #lol |

FYI – I will let you know when the footage from my last gig becomes available. See these other blog posts for more info:
* This one–> I had another #gig last week, sorry I didn’t tell you! | #musician #freelance #singer #songwriter #acousticguitar |
* And this one–> Footage from last weeks #gig! |#singer #songwriter #freelance #musician #acousticguitar #soundcloud #newmusic #livemusic #london

Now to this weeks blog post!

Hey everyone,

Thought I would just give feedback on how my online dating is going.

Basically, it’s going terribly lol. The issue isn’t finding guys who are attracted to me, it’s finding guys who are attracted to me, that I too am attracted to, that also don’t just want sex… *sigh*.

For a start I’ve had to reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyyy lower my standards. Like, a lot lol. I also feel like everything online is far too driven by looks as opposed to personality. See my previous blog post on this issue (follow this link). Additionally, I don’t actually believe you can fall in love with someone online anyway I’ve made that quite clear in this blog post (follow this link), so I pretty much think that if they are talking to me because they just want sex.

Also, I seem to be not necessarily attracting guys my own age but older guys, literally, Caucasian men in their 30’s, between 30-37 seem to love me…? FYI (as of the 6th of Dec 2018) I am currently 28 years old. I don’t have any issues dating guys older then me. In fact, I welcome it. In fact, I don’t actually like dating guys my age, as a rule I go for older. Anyway, here’s the 5 kinds of guys I’ve encountered:

1.) The sexually deviant or just want a hookup (one night stand for the uninitiated)

I don’t think the majority are talking to me for my brain. I feel like when I am chatting away to whoever, they see me as some toy and just an innocent little girl that they hope to do shameful things to, below is an actual conversation I had:

Me: Hey! 🙂

Him: Ooo cute, free later 😉 ?

Me: Heh
So tell me a bit about yourself?

Him: Weeeeellll
I’m free later
And I live here, ## ### (hidden for the users protection)
Soooo
Yea
Pop round

I unmatched and blocked that user. I’m not stupid enough to go round his house for him to violate me repeatedly. It’s a shame, he was cute but didn’t seem like he would take no for an answer. He somehow thought I was stupid enough to actually go????

2.) The guys that don’t reply.

Now I know how all 1.5k+ guys (no I’m genuinely not exaggerating) who messaged/liked me feel when I don’t reply lol. It’s not nice when you like the person but they don’t reply or reciprocate but I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk to people who you are not interested in just to tell them you don’t like them, doesn’t seem nice to me either.

3.) The guys with off-the-grid sexual appetites :/

My mother said a while ago that I seem to attract men who want to be dominated. True to form one guy who liked me was specifically looking for a a woman who would dominate him. He wanted to be in something called a “cuckold relationship” and described himself as:

“a submissive male seeking a hot wife who is open minded and sexually independent and free.”

I don’t even know what that means and I don’t want to know lol…

There’s some sick people out there. I like MANLY men. I really fancy men who have beards as well, just a side note 🙂

4.) The guys that are trying to catfish you

They just don’t want to show you a picture of their face…

5.) The guys who are weird

Those complete and utter weirdos, who after talking to them, you think to yourself, no wonder you’re here!… Lol

What Catherine wants

As I said, the main issue isn’t finding guys who are attracted to me, it’s finding guys who are attracted to me that I too am attracted to, that don’t want just sex. I get that a man who is attracted to you is a man who wants to have sex with you. I get that. I also get that if the man that I am with doesn’t want to have sex with me then there’s a problem but come on guys. It just can’t be all about sex and looks. That’s so short-sighted, remember women age!

Here’s what I’m willing to settle for: A guy who wants sex but also likes me as a person and respects my values. How hard is that? Seriously? Below is a good video which talks about what I believe (play in the embedded player below or follow this link):

My Complaints Against Single Christian Guys

I want to date a Christian but soo many single Christian guys in their late 20’s onwards seem sooo wet and immature… I want a husband not a pet. Here’s a scenario that happened to me:

I went to a church that wasn’t mine. I had on a dress and pearls and a bunch of guys stood there talking about talking to me. They just stood there huddled up staring at me, my back was turned to them but I could hear them and see them from the side. Not a single one of those “boys” actually talked to me despite lengthy conversation about it. I did actually wait around a bit to give them a chance but eventually I just got hungry and left lol. My concern was that by the time one of those guys decided to grow up, get over their fear of women and actually talk to me I’d be so old that my eggs would have gone off in my ovaries.

I have actually told guys that I like them before I have been rejected as well but it doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger. If you like a girl/woman say something, she might just like you too.

I admit I have also had some very positive experiences of single Christian guys who just went for it and WELL DONE TO YOU GUYS. I REALLY APPRECIATED IT AND YOU TOTALLY HAVE MY RESPECT I SHOULD HAVE KISSED YOU.

I want an actual man who has the stones to do what needs to be done. Not someone the age of a man that acts like a boy allllll the time. I’ll put up with a certain amount of silliness for a laugh but you can’t be childish all the time, it’s not funny. I have observed other very childish things that single Christian guys in their late 20 some-thing plus have done/tend to do but I can’t even be bothered to document them right now. I’m just not impressed at all.

th

I will never ever ever allow you to penetrate me everrrr with that attitude (obviously only within marriage). My vagina is reserved for winners, dude (again, obviously only after marriage). Grow up, buck up and stop being losers. I don’t want to be mean but some of you just won’t learn.

Also, more seriously, many of them are Christian by name only, they don’t read their Bible everyday, they don’t go to or participate/serve in a church regularly and they pick and choose which parts of the Bible they are going to follow, which usually includes the parts that suit them somehow.

Spiritual maturity goes hand in hand with ordinary maturity. Ordinary maturity tells you you have responsibilities and you need to be disciplined and make time for God. This in turn develops your spiritual maturity by spending scheduled time with God which develops your maturity about other things because then you become adept at hearing and recognising the Holy Spirit, who will in turn advise you on day to day matters of common sense and integrity. The ones that don’t have common sense or integrity tend to be the ones that lack spiritual maturity because they lack the discipline to bother to seek Godly wisdom in a timely and organised manner.

My ex was the love of my life but I was certainly not stupid enough to marry him (although we did pick out a ring for me and we went looking at furniture and argued in the John Lewis store about kettles, I wanted the pretty kettle and he wanted the one that would last…). I wanted to marry him I did and I was very sad when he broke up with me but most of that was wounded pride lol. I never regretted not marrying him he tried to ask me several times and I kept on saying “mmm I think we should wait” lol. Why did I dissuade him? I did that because he was a boy in the body of a grown man who I had to beg to read his bible every day, also he barely went to church before I bugged him to. Also, he was only ever nice to me and then again he wasn’t really all that nice to me either and he lacked common sense. I’m not sorry we’re not together any more lol. We started out as friends, it became something else, then it fizzled away and now I am free lol.

As I said I was sad at the time but the breakup was necessary for me to grow. I am much happier now! His foibles were down to a lack of spiritual maturity. His problems began and ended with his apathy towards his primary responsibility as a man, which was to his God and seeking wisdom from his God. Any idiot can get married (and many idiots do!) but a Godly person gets married to the right person at the right time.

*** In a separate matter not related to my ex**** I really feel like I need to say this just to make it really final. No offence but if you don’t read your Bible everyday, you don’t respond to your WhatApp’s not necessarily the same hour or even the same day (because you know people are busy and sometimes I admit I miss them as well, I just got a text and a WhatsApp today from someone who tried to get me yesterday but I just missed it) but if you can’t even reply the same month I send them and you still don’t know how to talk to or interact with the opposite sex in your late 20’s plus, I don’t want to know!

No offence but I really need say this. Boy… and I mean boy because that is how I perceive you, I am done with you. You are too late, I’m done. Take it away Jojo! (play in the embedded player below or follow this link):

I’ll be your friend, yes, but I am never ever ever ever going to let you get anywhere near my vagina! (again only within marriage because I am a Christian)…ever. I’m done with you. Move along.

*** Rant over ***

What Catherine Needs

I need the person I’m married to and sleeping with (only within marriage of course) to be someone I can respect! Whatever you believe in, do it with conviction. I’d rather passionately make-out with someone who doesn’t go to church with conviction, than marry someone who goes to church half-heartedly -_- even Jesus doesn’t like people who are lukewarm:

(Revelation 3:14-22 NLT) “[14] “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Laodicea. This is the message from the one who is the Amen–the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s new creation: [15] “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! [16] But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! [17] You say, ‘I am rich. I have everything I want. I don’t need a thing!’ And you don’t realize that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. [18] So I advise you to buy gold from me–gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich. Also buy white garments from me so you will not be shamed by your nakedness, and ointment for your eyes so you will be able to see. [19] I correct and discipline everyone I love. So be diligent and turn from your indifference. [20] “Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends. [21] Those who are victorious will sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat with my Father on his throne. [22] “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches.””

Conclusion

I’ve given the online dating thing a good try but it hasn’t worked how I would like. Anyway, so I’m trying to go to face-to-face singles events and even speed dating (which is better suited to the level of attention that I am willing to give to each match) and we’ll see how that goes… lol.

And remember guys! Grow up and read your Bible everyday or no vagina for you! (within marriage obviously).

Bye!

Catherine

3 Ways The Devil Tempts #Men | #mensministry #Jesus #theology

Hey everybody,

Today I am going to talk about something that Jesus showed me when I was reading Luke the other day, how the devil tempts men in particular. Let’s look at the passage I was reading, Jesus’ words are highlighted in red, the devil in bold:

(Luke 4:1-13 NLT) “[1] Then Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River. He was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, [2] where he was tempted by the devil for forty days. Jesus ate nothing all that time and became very hungry.

[3] Then the devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become a loaf of bread.” [4] But Jesus told him, No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone.‘”

[5] Then the devil took him up and revealed to him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. [6] “I will give you the glory of these kingdoms and authority over them,” the devil said, “because they are mine to give to anyone I please. [7] I will give it all to you if you will worship me.” [8] Jesus replied, “The Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the LORD your God and serve only him.'”

[9] Then the devil took him to Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, and said, “If you are the Son of God, jump off! [10] For the Scriptures say, ‘He will order his angels to protect and guard you. [11] And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.'” [12] Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God.'”

[13] When the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came.”

What Jesus revealed to me is that the way the devil tempts males is threefold, always along the lines of:

  1. Survival
  2. Power
  3. Recklessness

Let’s examine the scripture above once again to see:

1.) Temptation of Survival

This temptation is aimed at destabilizing the bottom two levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs- Physiological and Safety needs (follow the link to find out more).

(Luke 4:1-4 NLT) “[1] Then Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River. He was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, [2] where he was tempted by the devil for forty days. Jesus ate nothing all that time and became very hungry.

[3] Then the devil said to him, “If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become a loaf of bread.” [4] But Jesus told him, No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone.‘”

Jesus was in the wilderness. Now wilderness in the Bible does not just represent a physical wilderness, forest desert etc, in this case yes it did represent a physical wilderness but it is also a metaphor for wilderness in ones life. Jesus is here showing us a metaphor of how we are to behave when faced with our own “wilderness”. Wilderness can be financial, as in lean times financially; it can also be social, maybe you don’t have any or many friends. It is basically a metaphor for any situation you find yourself in where you are vulnerable and in a place of spiritual dryness Amos 5:25 or solitude for a time of training in life Matthew 4:1.

Notice, Jesus was also hungry, He lacked basic things, in fact, He had nothing! AND THIS IS WHEN THE DEVIL MADE A MOVE, WHEN JESUS WAS VULNERABLE. The devil did not come before, when Jesus was with His friends and had just been baptised by John the Baptist and the Holy Spirit descended on Him like a dove in the previous chapter. No! The devil came when Jesus was alone and in desperate need for basic things, when His will would have been compromised due to desperation. The devil then tried to manipulate Jesus into doing something that God (the Father) did not want Jesus (God the Son) to do, with the promise of providing a quick fix, that would meet Jesus’ need sooner than God had intended. This would have been a quick fix but the long term ramifications would have been huge. Essentially, had Jesus done that then He would have disobeyed God (the Spirit) who told Jesus to fast and go into the wilderness the first place. Disobeying God would have violated the law, which would have made Jesus unrighteous, which would have meant that He was not a perfect sacrifice to fully atone for our sins, which would have meant that we would still be having to sacrifice animals and live by the Levitical laws, the Holy Spirit would not live in people but descend temporarily on people like old times and humanity would never ever ever be fully atoned to God ever, meaning there would be no salvation for anyone ever.

This is how the devil operates with men. He waits till they are vulnerable, in their wilderness, looking for a way out and a way to survive and tempts them with seemingly quick fixes that are wrong but encouraging them to self-justify their actions by giving them a lie that, they need to do this thing to survive and if they don’t do this thing they will perish. Men, how many times in your life have you been in a desperate situation and tempted to do the thing that you know is wrong just because you think, “if I don’t do this wrong thing I am going to fail”? It’s an attack. Be guarded, short term quick fixes are not always from God. It’s sometimes the devil trying to trap you and destroy everyone else around you. Adam was tempted in Genesis with a quick solution that would enhance his survival and through that everyone is now oppressed see Genesis 3. Likewise, if Jesus had given in, the whole of humanity would have been even more oppressed.

As men you need to understand the consequences of your actions and how they affect the people around you, you have to understand your privileged social status and how much power you have, not just physically but socially and economically as well. Because of your enhanced psycho-social realities, culturally men have greater social power which means that you act as gateways to not only your life but the lives of others and you aren’t taking this seriously enough. You’re just doing things to “survive” and not thinking about the long term consequences of your actions. It is the short term relief that the devil is using to hoodwink you, to draw your attention away from the long term consequences of your actions and eternity, we should be eternity minded when we make our decisions and that applies to men and women.

This kind of temptation can also be related to sex, maybe you feel like you really would like to sleep with whoever and just get short term relief so you can “survive” *rolls eyes* for a bit longer but there are long term consequences to that, especially before marriage or if the woman in question IS NOT YOURS!! Maybe you believe in “medicinal masturbation”… lol. Just to “ease the pressure on your balls” to help you “survive” *rolls eyes*, till you can get married to your fiancée/girlfriend. Don’t do that. It’s the devil setting you up to fail by trying to get you into habits that you can’t shake before you’re even married. Before you know it you’re hooked and you won’t actually be able to be stimulated by a real woman or a real vagina, you can actually condition your brain to only respond to porn. This video from this ministry is a good resource for this issue (follow the link to find out more). . It’s because of how the brain works and the reward centres in the brain see my previous article for more information about the brain (follow the link to find out more). The devil is trying to destroy your long term outlook. However, Jesus wants you to have life and life more abundantly but that requires patience. I’m still trying myself in the area of patience so I’m speaking to myself as well.

2.) Temptation of Power

This temptation is aimed at destabilizing the next two levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs- Social belonging and Esteem needs (follow the link to find out more).

(Luke 4:5-8 NLT) “[5] Then the devil took him up and revealed to him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. [6] “I will give you the glory of these kingdoms and authority over them,” the devil said, “because they are mine to give to anyone I please. [7] I will give it all to you if you will worship me.” [8] Jesus replied, “The Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the LORD your God and serve only him.'”

Again, remember at this point Jesus is still in the wilderness and Jesus’ basic need of survival is appearing to not being met immediately. So Jesus is still in a position of vulnerability. In this position of vulnerability, the devil offers power, much more extreme and such a far cry away from what Jesus was going through. The only cost for this power is to worship the devil.

This is another way that the devil gets men in particular. The seductive lure of POWER! The devil flaunts all the joys that wealth can bring and all the amazing things one can do and have with it. The cost for this wealth is to worship the devil. That can come basically in the form of doing anything wrong, anything that can compromise your integrity but will gain you some kind of financial gain. Maybe, you’re encouraged to lie about something, maybe a relationship, your faith or even anything that will compromise your integrity, in order to gain quickly, financially. These get rich quick schemes are often traps from the devil designed to compromise you. Don’t envy people who are super rich, you have absolutely no idea how they got it.

Take the Western powers for example. The reason why Britain, America and Europe are so rich is because they had an enormous unpaid workforce, enslaved African peoples. The things they did to those people are unthinkable. One punishment the Caucasian male slave owners gave African slaves was when they tried to escape they would get one slave to poo into the mouth of the slave that tried to run away and he had to swallow it. The most attractive African women were pimped out to other male Caucasian slave owners in a part of the salve trade known as the Pretty Trade. The male Caucasian slave owners would also use any African slave that they found attractive as a concubine, just for sex, the African slaves were not allowed to refuse, so they raped them. The slaves made Britain, America and Europe so much money, that’s why the West is so rich today. It was not just African people who were enslaved, pick any country in the Common Wealth and those people were enslaved too. There were even indentured Irish slaves as well! The White people were more than happy to enslave their own people too…

Has anybody asked you to do something that you know isn’t right or you know will somehow compromise your integrity but offered to compensate you financially for it? Don’t do it, it’s a trap that men fall for all the time. That’s why we have dictators, wars and the global economic crisis due to bankers greed.

This is also related to sex. Dominating women sexually, being sexually aggressive towards women because you know they are not strong enough to push you away. It’s a power trip. Thinking rapey thought’s, it’s the devil trying to seduce you and tempt you along the lines of power. Even if she is your wife, if she doesn’t want to don’t force her, it’s still rape.

Whenever we try to upgrade our power or sphere of influence through means that are wrong we are worshipping the devil.

3.) Temptation of Recklessness

This temptation is aimed at destabilising the last two levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs- Self Actualization and Self Transcendence (follow the link to find out more).

(Luke 4:9-12 NLT) “[9] Then the devil took him to Jerusalem, to the highest point of the Temple, and said, “If you are the Son of God, jump off! [10] For the Scriptures say, ‘He will order his angels to protect and guard you. [11] And they will hold you up with their hands so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.'” [12] Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God.'”

Again, Jesus was still in a wilderness and hungry, the devil tempted Him first by appealing to his basic needs, then he appealed to men’s desire for power, especially when they are in a state where they are in a state of reduced power or powerlessness or vulnerability of any kind, finally, the devil tried to tempt Jesus along the lines of men’s recklessness.

When we “test” God we are putting ourselves in the position of employer of God. We are saying, to God that God is accountable to us and that we are going to give God an observation (those of you reading this who work will understand what an observation is, it’s when your manager decides that they want to check that you are actually doing the job that they are paying you to do and that you are actually doing it well, so they stand there breathing down your neck watching you do it. Then you have a meeting afterwards with them/or whoever observed you, where they tell you where you could improve or what you’re doing well. It’s annoying and stressful, that’s partly why I work for myself now).

God doesn’t work for us, we work for God. God doesn’t have to prove anything to us, it’s we who have to prove ourselves to God.

This is another place where the devil attacks men. When they have that attitude that I’m going to test God’s power, it’s an insult to God. Moreover, it leads men to do stupid things, disregarding the brains that God gave humans to reason and do stupid things, where they do not take due care because they assume God is going to save them. Yes if you want to do something like jump out of a plane, make sure you pack your parachute. God is not going to save you if you jump out expecting angels to save you because it’s an appalling act of stupidity that God is not going to reward by saving you. It’s not in God’s interest because then everyone on earth would do silly things that hurt each other. That’s why God won’t save you. He won’t save you so as to teach other people not to do it. God does not want humanity to be backward.

I used to date this idiot right, when he went on holiday he wouldn’t take his phone with him. He said that I should just have faith that God would protect him and that me worrying about him was a sign of a lack of faith and that I didn’t really believe that Jesus was with him. With that attitude and all the drinking that he did when he was away, yeah, he’s right I do not believe that Jesus was with him lol. I believe that he survived his holidays on his own and that God didn’t actually have anything to do with it. It was reckless, inconsiderate of the felling of both me and his poor long-suffering mother. Disgusting jerk. That kind of thing is testing God. I didn’t want him to take his phone because I wanted to call him all the time because he used to call me all the time and I was happy for a break! I wanted him to take his phone because he was going to a place he didn’t live and it’s a sensible precaution.

Men do stupid crap all the time. Idiots. Stop it, you’re going to hurt yourselves and God is not necessarily going to save you. It’s always justified and covered by phrases like “oh well boys will be boys” etc. The devil is appealing to your idiocy, trying to make you, again, do something quick, that is going to damage you in the long run and you are thinking, don’t worry it’ll be ok God is with me but not necessarily. Certain adrenaline seeking sports, if you want to do them, wear a helmet? Or don’t do it at all. If something seems like it’s an unreasonable risk, don’t do it. If there is a likelihood that you might die doing an activity and it’s not necessary because you’re not a fireman or a policeman, think twice. Short term stupidity can lead to long term consequences and God will not facilitate, encourage or enable human stupidity, ever, especially when you are trying to use him as “staff” that will catch you, especially because letting you break your leg will mean that you have lots of time alone when you can read your bible and that scenario does suit God.

This can also be related to sex. You might think, yeah well you know, just a quickie, it might make a baby or whatever but I’m sure that God will get me out of this, let’s just test it to see what happens 😉 No!

Commonalities with the three scenarios

Notice that the three scenarios have something in common.

  1. Temptation happens in the midst of vulnerability – the devil waits till a man is in a vulnerable position when his ability to rationalize is compromised.
  2. Quick decisions for quick fixes – the devil tries to make a person make decisions quickly without thinking it through. Which is why the devil waits till a man is vulnerable, desperation and fear make you do silly things
  3. All three ways of tempting encourage men to make poor life choices when it comes to sex.
  4. The devil temps men in order to ruin everybody – when men give in to temptation, it doesn’t just affect men it affects everybody, women, children, animals, the environment, everything because, culturally, men have more power than women.

How did Jesus deal with temptation?

Jesus used The Word!

(Luke 4:4,8,12 NLT)

“…[4] But Jesus told him, No! The Scriptures say, ‘People do not live by bread alone.‘”…

[8] Jesus replied, “The Scriptures say, ‘You must worship the LORD your God and serve only him.‘” …

[12] Jesus responded, “The Scriptures also say, ‘You must not test the LORD your God.

Every time the devil tried to tempt Jesus it was to destabilise Jesus’ motivation away from being satisfied by and through God and towards being satisfied by the devil, by encouraging Jesus to selfishly satisfy His needs through Himself, when and how the devil made it seem attractive. Jesus rebuffed these temptations by responding to the devil with The Word, that is the words of the Bible. Jesus was able to do this because He knew the scriptures. That comes from READING THE BIBLE EVERY DAY. Jesus came to fulfil the Law. This was outlined in Exodus, detailed in Leviticus, Further expounded and acted upon in Numbers and repeated in Deuteronomy. One of the laws was the following:

(Deuteronomy 6:6-9 NLT) “[6] And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. [7] Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. [8] Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. [9] Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Which was reiterated to Joshua later on:

(Joshua 1:8 NLT) “[8] Study this Book of Instruction continually. Meditate on it day and night so you will be sure to obey everything written in it. Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do.”

We are supposed to read the Bible daily and read it to our children and remind ourselves of it, that way you get to know it off your head, so when temptation comes you can recollect what God says to do. So when the devil attack your mind you can respond with The Word and use The Word to inform your actions, especially when you are to emotionally compromised to think straight.

MEN, LIFE IS AN OPEN BOOK EXAM, YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO IT ON YOUR OWN. YOU HAVE THE ANSWERS IN THE BIBLE. When you don’t read your Bible gentlemen, it’s the equivalent of doing a calculator Maths exam without ever picking up your calculator and just leaving it on the desk…

Final Warning

(Luke 4:13 NLT) “[13] When the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left him until the next opportunity came.”

Temptation did not stop for Jesus, the temptation that we saw early on in the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) is just the only time that any kind of tempting of Jesus was written down. From what we can see from the above verse is that Jesus was tempted constantly like the rest of us. The only difference is that Jesus did not give in because Jesus knew and used The Word!

Where’s your Bible dude?…

I keep mine on me in the form of an app on my phone, it’s just a practical way to do things. Hope that made you think.

Catherine x

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I got a #new jumper dress! 🙂 #fashion

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Our #Brain, our #Emotions and evidence for our #Spirit | #Jesus #spiritual #body #psychology #limbicsystem #science

Hello,

Did you know my father used to be a scientist? No? Well now you do…

Anyway lol, today’s chit chat will be about the brain, emotions and how in my mind they prove that there’s a God. FYI, the featured image above is an actual poster of the brain I have in my room. Let’s go!

Emotions like fear and love are carried out by the limbic system, which is located in the temporal lobe of your brain. The structures are highlighted in the image below:

The limbic system is made up of multiple parts but the centre of emotional processing is the Amygdala, this receives input from other brain functions, like memory and attention. Let’s break down the itty bit’s to understand what’s going on in our heads!

 

Amygdala – (highlighted in pink!)

Almond shaped and responsible for multiple emotional responses such as: love, fear, anger and sexual desire. In animal studies from Shippensburg University, found that stimulating or removing the Amygdala can alter emotions:

  • Electrical activation causes aggression
  • Surgical removal results in indifferent emotional reactions.

Therefore, damage to the Amygdala can result in abnormal emotional responses and over-stimulation causes excessive reactions.

 

Hippocampus – (highlighted in orange!)

This sends information to the Amygdala and is one of the memory processing centres of the brain. It interacts with the Amygdala when a person has memories with emotional ties. According to The Canadian Institutes of Health Research the connection between the Hippocampus and Amygdala “may be the origin of strong emotions triggered by particular memories,” explaining emotional responses to traumatic memories.

 

Prefrontal Cortex (highlighted in gold!)

Located near the front of the head and is involved in decision making in response to emotions, basically, thinking about thinking! According to The Canadian Institutes of Health Research the Prefrontal Cortex regulates anxiety and controls what decision a person makes when faced with an emotional reaction. That is because one’s level of anxiety will affect the decisions one makes, you need a clear head to think!

 

Hypothalamus – (highlighted in gold!)

This feeds information into the Amygdala (soo tiny with such a big job!), like the Hippocampus . Shippensburg University states that the Hypothalamus acts as a regulator of emotion, controlling levels of sexual desire, pleasure, aggression and anger. Essentially the Hypothalamus is your appetite regulator!

 

Cingulate Gyrus – (highlighted in red!)

This acts as a pathway between the Thalamus and the Hippocampus and plays a role in remembering emotionally charged events. Shippensburg University (again lol) notes that the Cingulate Gyrus focuses our attention on the event, alerting the rest of the brain that it is emotionally significant.

 

Ventral Tegmental Area (the little balls and arrows)

Just to clarify the picture, this is the dopamine pathways, it’s a circuit in your brain that deals with reward and punishment. The arrows and balls just show where things flows to and from where.

This area is also involved in emotions and love but particularly in how a person perceives pleasure. Dopamine pathways are located in the Ventral Tegmental Area. Let’s just discuss Dopamine a bit more. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved in mood and increased levels elevate the person’s level of pleasure. It also helps you to move but what is important in this article is feelings. Dopamine also helps with reinforcement — motivating us to do something again and again. Dopamine is what prompts a lab animal to repeatedly press a lever to get tasty pellets of food. And it’s part of why humans seek out another slice of pizza! Reward and reinforcement help us learn where to find important things such as food or water, so that we can go back for more. Dopamine even affects moods. Things that are rewarding tend to make us feel pretty good. Lowering dopamine can make animals lose pleasure in activities like eating and drinking. This joyless state is called anhedonia (AN-heh-DOE-nee-uh). Dopamine also helps us focus on things. Anything that’s rewarding, after all, is usually well worth our attention. Dopamine has a more sinister side. Drugs such as cocaine, nicotine and heroin cause huge boosts in dopamine. The “high” people feel when they use drugs comes partly from that dopamine spike. This then prompts people to seek out those drugs again and again — even though they are harmful. Indeed, the brain “reward” associated with that high can lead to drug abuse and eventually to addiction.

Now this is all very interesting how chemicals and electricity regulate and control our emotions. However, what I would like to know is how things go from electricity and chemicals to a feeling? These things also don’t explain why people react differently to the same scenarios when we all have the same kit in our brains? These unanswerable questions are what I think gives evidence for not only more than 3 dimensions but also the human spirit. We are clearly more than atoms because we all have the same kit but respond differently to the same scenarios, you cannot say it’s always upbringing because some people are brought up very well and end up as serial killers and some people are abused as children but end up working for the UN or an NGO.

 

What are you saying Catherine?

Ultimately, what I am saying is that although the Limbic System is responsible for regulating emotions and helping us to feel these emotions and remember to associate them with various thing to help us to function effectively, it does not explain Personality. It only explains personality disorders which occur when things go wrong in the brain. Personality cannot be pinned down to any part of the brain, we can see evidence of it in the Limbic System but we cannot see it touching or interacting with the brain, personality is the essence of a human being and it’s ethereal (follow this link for definition), not corporeal (follow this link for definition) like our physical brains.

I grew up in the same house with my brother with the same parents and had the same punishments and rewards but we are two different people. He likes crowds, I like solitude, he likes noise, I like the quiet, he likes having lots of friends, I like a few close friends. Certain scenarios irritate him intensely, whereas the same scenarios don’t even register as a thing with me. On the flip side some things that agitate me intensely wash off his back like water off a ducks back lol. Why is that when we have lived similar lives?

The Limbic System and the other things in our brains also explain addiction, why we get sad and our fight and flight response but they do not explain the billions of variations and levels of addicts, sadness and flightiness. These things also do not explain why some people are in love with one person but not another even though they may look similar?

It is personality that makes me think that humans have spirits, I believe that what we call personality, is in fact Spirit.

Our bodies, to me, are like the following metaphor: our bodies are just like space suits that an astronaut uses to walk in and interact with the vacuum of space and the person inside is their spirit. The space suit looks one way on the outside but the person on the inside can be looking and feeling something totally different. In a similar way, our bodies are like casings or suits that allow our intangible spirits to interact with the tangible physical realm of the universe that we live in. Sometimes people look one way on their physical face but inside, if we could see their spirits, their spirits are angry or lustful or sad. It is the fact that human responses are not uniform, like Vulcan’s lol, sometimes our responses are irrational! This is what suggests to me that there is something else interacting with our brains that has not been identifiable yet that causes this. I think this is Spirit. I think this along the same lines as to why scientists think that dark matter exists, they can see atoms responding to/interacting with something that they cannot identify or touch and that thing they cannot identify easily they have called dark matter. Likewise, I can see that our physical bodies are interacting with something that cannot be easily identified or measured but it is clearly there, I have as others before me, labelled this thing as Spirit and if that is true it proves that Jesus (who is God) is also true because God (who chooses to identify as God the Father “Yahweh”, God the Son who we know as Jesus and God the Holy Spirit) is Spirit who created us like himself as it says in Genesis:

“[26] Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” [27] So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:26-27 NLT)

So if we do have Spirit, the part of us that is like God, then we indeed have a God too!

Catherine x

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HANDS UP IF YOU'RE STILL AT #CHURCH???!!?? #christian #jesus

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Bibliography

Brookshire, B. Explainer: What is dopamine? Science News For Students Web site, at: <https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/explainer-what-dopamine&gt; 1 November 2018

Stannard, L. What Parts of the Human Brain Correspond to Emotion or Love? Livestrong Web site, at: <https://www.livestrong.com/article/77419-parts-human-brain-correspond-emotion/&gt; 1 November 2018

Some lighthearted reasons why #men are like #dogs, feel free to #paw over this lol | #pets #animals #men #fun #lol

Hello,

I’ve been meditating on the similarities between men and dogs. Below are my musings: (FYI, the man and dog in the picture above are not mine lol)

Here’s why men are like dogs:

  • They have faces and hands…
  • They’re cute
  • They like to snuggle up on the sofa with you
  • They make excellent friends
  • To keep them fit you give them appropriate feed and take them for regular walks
  • They love meal times
  • They’re hairy
  • They love back rubs
  • If you let them, they’ll lick your face
  • They don’t like going to the doctor
  • They’re territorial over their females
  • They have whiskers (moustache)
  • Sometimes you have to clean up their sick
  • Sometimes they wee on your (bathroom) floor…
  • The whole world is their toilet 🙂
  • You have to house train them
  • Stronger than they look
  • They lick themselves clean – I have seen this…
  • They like to play with toys even when they are adults
  • Pathological fear of a rolled up newspaper
  • They’re affectionate!
  • They come in all different shapes and sizes
  • When they’re too frisky you get them done (haha!)
  • They like attention
  • Happy to see you in the morning
  • Some are more docile than others
  • You adopt them from their mothers (lol)
  • They have no clue what women are angry about
  • Sloppy wet kisses!!!
  • They occasionally bark at you
  • You can dress them up in cute outfits
  • They enjoy physical contact with their favourite humans
  • It’s culturally acceptable for them to be topless in public
  • Weird fascination with butts
  • They aren’t expected to shave their legs
  • They enjoy taking a nap
  • Fancy themselves as pack leader

That’s all I can think of for now!

Catherine x

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This is how I know when #winter is here! #pets #dogs #fireplace

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What is your problem?

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

So today is going to be a bit of an odd post but I hope it helps someone.

What in your life has become a “problem”? And by problem you know what I mean, I mean this thing has become a major distraction, you genuinely can’t carry on like this, it’s totally un-liveable, unworkable, unmanageable, it’s beginning to effect your quality of life, relationships and just needs to stop?

I’ll share with you my thing. Well, can you believe it but I really feel like God has been talking to me about me over watching cute animal videos on YouTube lol. It wasn’t until God pointed it out to me that I realised that it was a problem… I once spent an hour on YouTube watching cute videos of puppies and kittens and laughing (I’m not joking lol).

Now there isn’t anything wrong with cute animal video’s on YouTube but it was the amount of time I was wasting which was unhelpful and unhealthy lol. I just like small furry things… Anyway so I went cold turkey from cute videos and decided if I’m going on YouTube its going to be for something else, just you know, for variety? I found some other channels I like to watch, some comedy ones just to broaden my horizons! Also, I’ve started to watch things I need to watch for my job as Pastor/Director of Music at my churh (follow this link to find out more about that)/my PhD (and follow this link to find out about that) like this video from Don Moen (then follow this link or play it in the embedded player below):

Why am I telling you this? I thought it might help someone identify things in their life that have become a problem and need to stop and to let you realise it doesn’t have to be something like porn to trap you it could be something small like cute furry animal videos lol. Go through your life and think, “what am I honestly spending too much time doing?”, be honest and change. When we waste our time we are wasting God’s time. That’s all.

Here’s some calming music:

 

Love Catherine x