The #evolution of the #song #music #freelance #musician #songwriting #soundcloud

Hello Ladies & Gentlemen,

I wanted to show you what I’ve been up to! If you follow me on SoundCloud (follow this link for more info)  you would see that I have been busy!

I’ve posted quite a few things – see the playlist New Stuff follow this link for more info! or use the embedded player below:

Today I wanted to show you have songs can “evolve”. So I got the concept for this latest  song when I did a lot of thinking when I went on a walk (follow this link to read this blog post) where I took some self portraits par example:

P4070004 - Version 2

I was thinking about how it must feel for young Christian couples when they get married go on honeymoon and come back and start living together for the first time. This is an exciting time for Christian young people because we don’t live with our significant other until we are married, not even when we are engaged do we live together, it’s literally only once you have gotten married and come back from your honeymoon do you actually start to live together as a Christian. I really wanted to write a song about this but I thought to myself:

“how to I express this feeling, this tacit knowledge that I, personally, have never experienced before in song?”

So I thought ok let’s start with lyrics, what is the one thing that Christian’s can’t do before marriage? Hmmm! Sex :). So I thought lets, tastefully, discuss that. So using some euphemisms from my favourite book of the Bible, Song of Songs (follow this link to read this book) I came up with some lyrics talking about “giving your love” and “gardens” lol.

[Song of Songs 7:12 NLT] [12] Let us get up early and go to the vineyards to see if the grapevines have budded, if the blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love.

I also thought, let’s discuss that freedom of coming out from under your parents, so let’s so ok, “all we need is us” and then I thought, “yeah but we also need God, more than we need our spouses”, so I put ok it’s the wife, the husband, and Jesus, so I added “and the love of God” to just show you don’t do marriage alone it’s you and your spouse and God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

This gave me this:

————————————————————————————————————————————-

SIDE NOTE: Interestingly enough, there is five of you, but God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit are “one”, Jesus said it Himself:

[John 17:21-23 NLT] [21] I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one–as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. [22] “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. [23] I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.

Now if God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit are “one” and we, as individuals and a collective church are “one” with Jesus:

[1 Corinthians 12:12-13 NLT] [12] The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. [13] Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.

And a husband is “one” with his wife

[Malachi 2:15 NLT] [15] Didn’t the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.

[Matthew 19:4-6 NLT] [4] “Haven’t you read the Scriptures?” Jesus replied. “They record that from the beginning ‘God made them male and female.’ [5] And he said, ‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ [6] Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.”

You are actually not five at all tas the scriptures say:

God the Father + God the Son + God the Holy Spirit = 1 lets call this FSHS

FSHS + you = 1

FSHS + your spouse = 1

you (Y) + your spouse (YS) = 1

Therefore FSHS + Y + (Y+YS) = FSHSYYS = 1

———————————————————————————————————————————

I thought I would add some bass and some guitars panned so I tried it out:

I thought that things should be more precise and less muddy and I was pretty sure that I wanted the song to fade out so it turned into this: (at this point I still hadn’t finished the lyrics

Eventually I got my act together and finished the lyrics, I feel like I captured how I would feel, the drama of a wedding, the fun of dressing up, picking a house and sneakily having sex in the garden just because I can! 😛 hehe!

Eventually I thought, hmm, this needs some drums etc, so I got on Finale and decided do go through the tedious task of writing the drum beat, as I struggle with maths, working out the semi demi hemi quavers that you find in drum ‘n” bass was really difficult and I am more proficient in Finale then I am in Pro Tools, Cubase or Logic so the only way for me to do the beats was by scoring it. It took aaaaaaaaaaaaaaages even with the copy and paste function lol.

I also added some orchestral sounds as that is what I am trained to do and I love orchestral pop! This concoction ended up with this:

Then I added backing vocals!

And that’s where I have gotten to so far! Some things may change and I’ll still remix it etc

Here’s the full playlist for you to enjoy at your leisure!

 

Lots of love

Catherine

Aaaand that's a wrap for #church till next week! #freelance #musician #musicpastor #musicteacher www.catherinewaithe-arnold.com

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Wanted Ad: One Husband for one woman

About me:

  • Female
  • Christian
  • 27 yrs old
  • Favorite book of the Bible: Song of Songs
  • fun loving
  • creative: loves music: writing & performing & recording, art, baking & exercise (sport is considered a creative art)
  • likes to philosophise about things
  • musical
  • has 2 degrees, working on the 3rd
  • gluten, wheat and lactose free
  • loves to nap lol
  • favourite food: chicken anything
  • favourite colour: blue
  • can drive, does not have a car
  • likes the quiet
  • likes walking
  • into photography & phoneography
  • Music Pastor
  • dyspaxic, a bit dyslexic & a few other things…. lol
  • lived away from home for 5 years (university time) and then came back

 

Games consoles: I own the following

  • Super Nintendo (with no power cable or controller I’ll sort that out later)
  • PS2
  • PS3
  • Pink Nintendo DS lite
  • Black Wii with 1 black controller & 1 white controller

 

CookwareI own the following

  • George Foreman grill thingy
  • Titanium Steel Pans,
  • a kettle (which to be fair I might throw away lol)
  • Colourful cutlery I used at university (which I might also throw away lol)
  • crockery (which I’m going to get rid of I don’t even know why I’m including this on the list lol)
  • I had my own microwave but my mothers broke so I gave her mine
  • Black mini fridge it’s literally like a foot tall
  • Russell Hobs food steamer
  • kitchen utensils.
  • I also have loooads of recipes 🙂

 

I need space for the following:

  • my mini trampoline
  • my wondercore abs thingy
  • my other exercise stuff
  • my hair steamer hahaha
  • my 13 instruments one of which is a harp
  • all my other misc music equipment
  • my skateboard that I keep on falling off of…
  • my art supplies including my easel
  • my hats
  • my ornamental dolls
  • my home office stuff, pc printer etc.
  • don’t be alarmed, all of my earthly possessions actually fit into one room, spread across a house should be fine, there will be no space for your clothes…

 

Clothes:

My clothes fill 3 cupboards… and not a single cupboard is devoid of shoes at the bottom.

 

Books: I have many of these,

  • some are poetry books and are prose fiction and most are prose non-fiction
  • I’ve got music books, books on theology, science, reference books, children’s books, various translations of the Bible, stories and tons of Horrible Histories!
  • It would be nice to merge our collections!

 

Where I want to live:

  • somewhere surrounded by green
  • I shrivel in cities
  • Somewhere the dogs can have space
    • the little one is a fool and cannot be trusted around cars
  • I want a house with a garden so I can grow my crops (e.g. carrots)

 

What I’m looking for:

  • someone who wants to get married
  • An attractive means by which I can reproduce myself
  • Someone my age and older, but not too much older because I want something that will be able to run around and play with me
  • affectionate
  • will put up with my allergies lol
  • must be able to get on with my family & friends
  • willing to agree to a space in the house reserved for me between certain hours in the evenings and mornings for me to give my music tuition lessons
  • must enjoy going to coffee shops & talking and also
  • needs to know when to shut up lol
  • someone who likes to go to restaurants
  • someone who scrubs up well
  • someone who will come with me to my arty things like the The Tate
  • Supportive person who always has my back
  • Someone supportive of me working from home & being self employed
  • House husband yaaaaaay! I’d honestly love a guy that works from home!
  • a guy with a sense of humour
  • no racists, whether that be against people of African-Caribbean decent or Caucasian decent or any other ethnicities
  • creative
  • someone who can help me mix/record vocals, I’m not good at that lol
  • sounding board for ideas
  • musician perhaps? I know this sounds clichéd, this is probably one of the only serious bullet points, I’d love to sing worship songs at home with my husband and have worship time together and maybe one time he plays the guitar maybe one time I play or we play different instruments together! that’s literally one of my dreams. I’m serious about this one lol
  • must read my blog and be supportive of the various things that I like to do to occupy my time 😛
  • likes to travel
  • thinks I’m pretty without my makeup 😛
  • someone who looks the same in real life like they do on the internet
    • I try and make my instagram selfies just as ugly as I am in real life so that when people meet me they don’t feel like I’m Catfishing them

 

Children:

  • I do not currently have any of these
  • Would like to be married for a few years before reproducing
  • I’m up for having 2 minimum
  • Don’t think of it as “ugh she wants two children!” No no no, think of it as “she wants to get married and is willing to have sex at least twice” 🙂
  • 4 is my maximum, that’s frisky enough. Once we have 4 I’m going to start throwing around words like… “vasectomy”. Speaking of sex…

 

Sex:

  • I am a Christian, so until marriage, as far as you or any guy is concerned, everything below my neck that isn’t my hands is marked “here be dragons”.
    • I don’t date guys who aren’t Christians any more because they keep on trying to have sex with me lol. It’s flattering but not congruous with my values.
      • It’s not a hard and fast rule, maybe if I met someone decent who wasn’t a Christian maybe I would date them I dunno but I wouldn’t marry someone who is not a Christian because I want to be on the same page spiritually.

 

For all enquiries visit my Contact me page or email info@catherinewaithe-arnold.com, willing to accept video entries lol

Love Catherine x

#Book recommendation: Sisters in the Wilderness! #PhD #education

Hey everybody,

Man it’s been hot in the UK lately. Twas like the scorching a thousand suns! Another quick one!

Basically, I’ve been really busy doing research for my PhD. I’ve been reading a book about womanist theologies, apparently a womanist is a feminist who is a woman of colour, usually particularly interested in advancing the causes of her people but is for the advancement of men and women. I’ve also been learning about the impact that slavery has had on the African-American psyche. All very interesting. I recommend “Sisters in the Wilderness” by Delores S. Williams for more information on that subject matter.

Once I get an opportunity to pry myself from my work for a bit longer I’ll post another long piece!
Lots of love Catherine

Xxx

Why I am enjoying #church #feasts #fellowship

Good evening!

Just a quick one today I’ve been really busy!
I would just like to say that I have really been enjoying church lately because we have been having a lot of fellowship after church. Lately, we’ve started making sandwiches out of the leftover display communion bread that and juice/drinks after church. I even made some gluten free bread once for that.

I know it’s simple but these simple things help to foster good feelings and community cohesiveness. As a group, we need to experience oneness before we can go out into the world and evangelize because as it said in the Bible:

John 17:21-23 NLT

[21] I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one-as you are in me, Father, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me. [22] “I have given them the glory you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. [23] I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me.

Love Catherine x

Latest findings of my #phd

Hello everybody!

Just keeping you up to date with what I’m doing regarding my PhD.

So two weeks ago I visited a church that my friend goes to called The Gospel Centre in Wood Green N8. Yeah it was totally great I had a really good time the people were friendly as well.

Here’s what I learned:

  • The person who greeted me at the door was a man
  • The people who greeted me the most were men
  • Their lead pastor was a man
  • They have male as well as female worship leaders
  • Their worship sessions are split into two sections
  • They will happily have a male lead one section and a female lead another section
  • The worship leader is not necessarily placed at the front of the ensemble
  • They had two female singers, neither played instruments
  • All the male members of the worship group I saw that Sunday played instruments
  • There were more male than female members in the group that Sunday
  • The female members were placed in the centre of the ensemble
  • They had no bass guitar but the lower end of the piano, the EQ on the rhythm guitar and the trumpet covered the wavelengths that the bass guitar would have otherwise occupied
  • After church the female worship leader lead and rehearsed the choir
  • The female worship leader did not play any instruments when leading the choir
  • The female worship leader relied upon a male musician to accompany the choir
  • All but 1 of the soloists were female
  • The choir contained more women than men
    • Possibly because this was a musical opportunity that did not require the participants to play instruments and from going on what I saw it appeared as though more men played instruments than women and I was told that the church in general was enthusiastic about music but lacked lacked musical ability
  • The women were more timid singers than the men
  • The male members of the choir led the female members, as the females relied upon them to know when to come in
  • The female members of the choir were better singers than the men
  • Despite the above point and there being less men in the choir, then men sang the loudest
  • No women played instruments that Sunday
  • The female worship leader knew how to operate the sound desk, typically a job done by men
  • The female worship leader, although lacking in practical musicianship skills had good management skills, accompanied with a reasonable level of musical knowledge of harmony and timing, making her still an effective choir master
  • The female worship leader was personable and I was reliably informed that she worked very hard with the choir to get them to the standard that they were.
  • The female worship leader was assertive, wore trousers and was African-Caribbean.
  • The female worship leader was educated and had a job
  • The ethnic mix of the church was about 50:50 Caucasian to non-Caucasian
  • All of the melody instruments were played by Caucasian men and all of the rhythm instruments were all played by African-Caribbean men giving in to ethnic stereotyping.
  • They had times of ambient worship, where there was no singing but giving people space to commune with God, in their own way. I liked this and I will try and incorporate this into worship sets at my church.

 

Interesting!

SPECIAL EDITION: #HAPPY #PENTECOST #Sunday #Jesus #HolySpirit #Church #NewTestament

Happy Pentecost everybody!

This is the time when Christians celebrate the Holy Spirit coming to the earth to live with us after Jesus’ ascension to heaven.

Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to look after us because after He died and rose again at Easter (click here to learn more information about that from my previous posts about Easter). He was no longer a human living with us and we needed someone to care for us!

John 14:15-18 NLT

[15] “If you love me, obey my commandments. [16] And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. [17] He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. [18] No, I will not abandon you as orphans-I will come to you.

Now, that we live in post-resurrection times Jesus, intereedes for us directly:

Hebrews 7:23-26 NLT

[23] There were many priests under the old system, for death prevented them from remaining in office. [24] But because Jesus lives forever, his priesthood lasts forever. [25] Therefore he is able, once and forever, to save those who come to God through him. He lives forever to intercede with God on their behalf. [26] He is the kind of high priest we need because he is holy and blameless, unstained by sin. He has been set apart from sinners and has been given the highest place of honor in heaven.

God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit can live within us instead of in the Holy of Holies, which was a part of the original “church buildings” if you like, which were made out of tents, thats also where The Ark of the Covenant was originally stored, in Old Testament times. (See Exodus 25:8-27:21 for more details on the Holy of Holies (called the Most Holy Place in this translation) and its construction).

This is the story of what happened at Pentecost in the Bibles own words! Enjoy!

Acts 2:1-41 NLT
[1] On the day of Pentecost all the believers were meeting together in one place. [2] Suddenly, there was a sound from heaven like the roaring of a mighty windstorm, and it filled the house where they were sitting. [3] Then, what looked like flames or tongues of fire appeared and settled on each of them. [4] And everyone present was filled with the Holy Spirit and began speaking in other languages, as the Holy Spirit gave them this ability. [5] At that time there were devout Jews from every nation living in Jerusalem. [6] When they heard the loud noise, everyone came running, and they were bewildered to hear their own languages being spoken by the believers. [7] They were completely amazed. “How can this be?” they exclaimed. “These people are all from Galilee, [8] and yet we hear them speaking in our own native languages! [9] Here we are-Parthians, Medes, Elamites, people from Mesopotamia, Judea, Cappadocia, Pontus, the province of Asia, [10] Phrygia, Pamphylia, Egypt, and the areas of Libya around Cyrene, visitors from Rome [11] (both Jews and converts to Judaism), Cretans, and Arabs. And we all hear these people speaking in our own languages about the wonderful things God has done!” [12] They stood there amazed and perplexed. “What can this mean?” they asked each other. [13] But others in the crowd ridiculed them, saying, “They’re just drunk, that’s all!” [14] Then Peter stepped forward with the eleven other apostles and shouted to the crowd, “Listen carefully, all of you, fellow Jews and residents of Jerusalem! Make no mistake about this. [15] These people are not drunk, as some of you are assuming. Nine o’clock in the morning is much too early for that. [16] No, what you see was predicted long ago by the prophet Joel: [17] ‘In the last days,’ God says, ‘I will pour out my Spirit upon all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy. Your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. [18] In those days I will pour out my Spirit even on my servants-men and women alike- and they will prophesy. [19] And I will cause wonders in the heavens above and signs on the earth below- blood and fire and clouds of smoke. [20] The sun will become dark, and the moon will turn blood red before that great and glorious day of the LORD arrives. [21] But everyone who calls on the name of the LORD will be saved.’ [22] “People of Israel, listen! God publicly endorsed Jesus the Nazarene by doing powerful miracles, wonders, and signs through him, as you well know. [23] But God knew what would happen, and his prearranged plan was carried out when Jesus was betrayed. With the help of lawless Gentiles, you nailed him to a cross and killed him. [24] But God released him from the horrors of death and raised him back to life, for death could not keep him in its grip. [25] King David said this about him: ‘I see that the LORD is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. [26] No wonder my heart is glad, and my tongue shouts his praises! My body rests in hope. [27] For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. [28] You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.’ [29] “Dear brothers, think about this! You can be sure that the patriarch David wasn’t referring to himself, for he died and was buried, and his tomb is still here among us. [30] But he was a prophet, and he knew God had promised with an oath that one of David’s own descendants would sit on his throne. [31] David was looking into the future and speaking of the Messiah’s resurrection. He was saying that God would not leave him among the dead or allow his body to rot in the grave. [32] “God raised Jesus from the dead, and we are all witnesses of this. [33] Now he is exalted to the place of highest honor in heaven, at God’s right hand. And the Father, as he had promised, gave him the Holy Spirit to pour out upon us, just as you see and hear today. [34] For David himself never ascended into heaven, yet he said, ‘The LORD said to my Lord, “Sit in the place of honor at my right hand [35] until I humble your enemies, making them a footstool under your feet.”‘ [36] “So let everyone in Israel know for certain that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, to be both Lord and Messiah!” [37] Peter’s words pierced their hearts, and they said to him and to the other apostles, “Brothers, what should we do?” [38] Peter replied, “Each of you must repent of your sins and turn to God, and be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. Then you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. [39] This promise is to you, to your children, and to those far away-all who have been called by the Lord our God.” [40] Then Peter continued preaching for a long time, strongly urging all his listeners, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation!” [41] Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day-about 3,000 in all.

Much love Catherine xxx

Made it to #church !

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Can you fall in #love with someone #online? #onlinedating #communication #internet #relationships

Hey everybody,

I have been philosophizing about communication and the recent popularity of online dating and people forming relationships on social media with people they don’t know. One day I just sat and thought it out and made a few notes, below are my conclusions.

 

A bit about me

I prefer face-to-face interaction; I speak the love language of Quality Time (click here for more info). I am a visual person, this is typically an attribute of men but women can be visual as well! This means that the most effective way for me to assimilate and or comprehend information is through visual means, eg. film, picture, graph, graphic, cartoon or just observing actual real life. This also means that a visual phenomenon catches my eye quicker than a written phenomenon. Now for me, when it comes to communication it’s the same. I find that the best way I can understand a person is by literally talking to them face to face, IN PERSON! What I see adds together with what I feel and what the person has written to me, to create an overall vibe for the person. This is why I don’t encourage people to form romantic relationships with people they meet online.

 

Quick tour of online relationships

Online, instant messaging and text relationships typically involve communicating through written means and pictures. One does not traditionally tend to communicate with strangers via skype as your phone number and email address is visible to the people you add. See the TV show Catfish: The TV Show (click here for more information)  for more details. The problem with online dating and forming relationships with people online is that when we read words we are missing out on a good two thirds of communication which is comprised entirely of non-verbal elements such as culture and body language. Moreover, an online message or a text is “rehearsed conversation” as opposed to “reactive conversation”, which is more organic and healthy. What do I mean by “rehearsed conversation”? Simply put, you can draft and re-draft a text or whatever and read it through and meditate on how it might make you sound, therefore, you eventually send the text that sends an idealised reflection and version of you and how you want to be heard, not really allowing people to love you for your imperfections, Freudian slips (click here for more information) and other mistakes. It’s easy for meaning to get lost in translation even with face-to-face interaction, how much more can online or written communication of any kind incur miscommunication? A simplified communication cycle can show how even through face-to-face interaction miscommunication can occur.

 

Communication cycle

Communicating through text alone (I don’t mean texts from ones mobile phone I mean through written word, whether that be a text message, email, instant message, facebook, twitter, etc.) is an insufficient way to communicate; it’s insufficient even in face-to-face conversation because sometimes what you are saying is not what the receiver is inferring. Lets look at a basic communication cycle:

  • Communicator speaks words
  • Listener hears words
  • Listener superimposes meaning onto words based on their age and culture
  • Listener responds based on what they think the communicator has said
  • Communicator hears response
  • Communicator superimposes meaning onto response based on their age and culture
  • Communicator responds based on what they think the responder has said

As we can see from the above cycle there are roughly four dialogues:

  • The dialogue of what the communicator has said
  • The dialogue of what the communicator thinks they have said
  • The dialogue of what the receiver has heard
  • And the dialogue of what the receiver thinks they have heard

We need to remember that words carry no inherent meaning. Language is merely a series of sounds, symbols and jibber jabber. The only thing that makes language functional is us. We ascribe meaning and emotions to words based on our experiences. This theory is called Deconstruction, by Derrida (click here for more information).

Now, because each human is unique and the experience of each human is unique, we each bring our own unique emotional baggage to every single discourse we have. The uniqueness of each human means that I can say things that mean something to me but might mean absolutely nothing or something else to another person. When someone, who is not me, reads what I have written, despite my best efforts to be plain, they will always superimpose their own meaning onto my words. This simultaneous occurrence of stimulus and inference is called Gestural Interconversion, see Philip Tagg (click here for more information). Effectively, we each speak and understand a slightly different version of the same language. Within the English language there is Catherine English and there is my friends English and there is Your English and so on. Even more shocking is the fact that the more we humans lie to each other, the less meaning words have. Getting us to the place where one can’t really take anyone’s word for anything, especially politicians, remember, “read my lips no new taxes”? That’s why we need to be able to see people squirm and look up and down whilst they lie, you can’t do that when you are not speaking face-to-face.
Face-to-face interaction

What I like about face-to-face interaction with people is that you get to see a lot of emotional leakage, as face-to-face interaction with someone you don’t know is “reactive” as opposed to “rehearsed”. What do I mean by “reactive”? Well one cannot really plan extensively for conversation on a date or any kind of face-to-face meeting with someone you don’t know. This means that every second of conversation with that person is based on a series of reactions to their reactions. The mark of a man is how he behaves under pressure and when he is taken off guard.

I personally think that it’s better to form relationships with people face-to-face. Personally, I find it easier to judge a persons intentions taking into account their whole person, not just what they write but observing what they do and say and how they do and say it. Women especially have to be careful because we typically are physically weaker than men and men can be such scoundrels, even the nice Christian ones want sex too so try not to get your Christian boyfriend too worked up because you can’t have sex with him till you’re married and it’s not helpful. I remarked to a male Christian colleague of mine that the only difference between Christian guys and non-Christian guys is thus, both want to have sex with you in the back of their car but you expect the Christian guy to have the decency to marry you first…. He agreed lol.

 

Pre-conversation conversation

Another reason why I prefer face-to-face communication is that when communication is just through words we miss out on the important “pre-conversation conversation” which begins before you are even at arms length of each other. Let me explain, we are communicating all the time, as soon as you walk into a room you are communicating. Very simple things about a guy’s demeanour can tell you a lot about him before you have even spoken. If you have an opportunity to meet with him informally with other people or you get to your date venue before him or when you arrive you are able to see him before he see’s you look out for the following because if he thinks you’re not watching him he will behave how he really is.

So to judge the character of a man that you want to date one must yes look at what he writes on social media, text etc but one must also take the time to scrutinize the following seemingly trivial and unimportant physical phenomena that are integral parts of his personality such as:

  • His body language
  • His dress
  • How he interacts with the public
  • How he interacts with his friends and family
  • His gesticulations
  • His eyes
  • Does he respect your personal space?
  • Tactility
  • What is the first thing he does when he walks into the room?
  • When he finally see’s you what does his face and body language suggest?

All of these categories will tell you something about him, something that you will miss out on if all of your interaction with this man happens online through words. There is a whole rich other language that is non-verbal that happens even before you have started talking to each other face-to-face that we miss when we only use words. Let’s give some detail to the list above to see why we need to look out for these things.

  • His body language: Does the guy walk into the room with his shoulders slumped or with his back straight? What do you think that says about him? This speaks volumes about one’s self-confidence. Do not take this as a criticism, if his back is slumped he maybe is shy and just needs some love but be aware that he does.
  • His dress: What is the guy wearing? Is he unkempt? Is he unkempt in a cool way? Is he dressed in a way that can lead to gender ambiguity? He might be gay and not know it, that’s possible. Moreover, there is dressing like an individual and then there is dressing in a way that shows either a blatant disregard for ones audience or a lack of awareness of ones audience, both are undesirable. Go easy when judging someone based on his or her clothes because not everyone has money to dress up. As a general rule of thumb I would judge the situation like this: If you are going to the Ritz and he has the means to wear a suit but he just refuses for no good reason, that’s when you have a problem.
  • How he interacts with the public: Does he brush past people rudely, or does he say “excuse me”? If he’s rude to the public, he will be rude to you in private.
  • How he interacts with his friends and family: Is he nice to them? If he’s nice to his female friends and female family members he might be nice to you, that’s not a given. However, the way a man behaves towards his mother will tell you something about his views towards women and how he might treat you, the potential mother of his children and his daughters.
  • His gesticulations: are they broad or small, aggressive or non-threatening? When he talks to you are his hands and body parts doing things that make you feel unsafe? If he’s doing that in public what will he do in private? Think.
  • His eyes: Are his pupils dilated? That’s a sign that a man is attracted to you. Where is he looking? Is he looking at your breasts whilst you’re trying to sign for a package that he has delivered to your door? (this actually happened to me)
  • Does he respect your personal space? Does he observe a polite distance (polite distance as dictated by his culture not yours, as cultures differ, what’s important is that he behaves in a way that he knows is within the bounds of propriety as he understands it. You cannot blame him if he does not know propriety according to your culture because he is not familiar with it. British culture suggests a good distance, arms length to be precise, whereas on the Continent (the continent of Europe as opposed to the island of the UK), or Asia, that distance is much smaller. When I went to Sri Lanka people stood really close to me, even touching me at one point but I realised that that was their culture and they were not being rude.)
  • Tactility: is he always trying to touch you outside of a normal (normal as dictated by his culture) level of physical contact that goes on between two people who are not intimately close? Does he give you more than a hug? Does the hug last for longer than you wanted it to?
  • What is the first thing he does when he walks into the room: is he eyeing up ALL the ladies in a really obvious way? Behaviour like this raises questions about his fidelity…
  • When he finally see’s you, what does his face and body language suggest? Does he look at you like you’re a lady or like you’re a piece of meat? (Obviously this is dependent upon you dressing and behaving like a lady)

 

Common Language

So how does anyone ever understand anyone? Well, as I said previously, communication involves a number of non-verbal elements, it’s combining these elements with words that helps two individuals to form a “common language”. This “common language” exists! Think about it, have you ever noticed that you speak one way with your family, another way with your friends, another way with your colleagues and another way with strangers? This is because there are different levels of relationship and experiences. Even within my family I will use different terms and sentence structures with different people, some family members even communicate with me using a mixture of English and French! But that is our “common language” and if it needs to be a combination of different languages, to facilitate understanding, then so be it.

Non-verbal elements that add to a “common language” include things like a smile. When it comes to people who I don’t know very well, like say a guy I’m meeting on a first date, I may not understand what the person is saying but I can recognise a smile or a frown, representing the base elements of what they are trying to communicate. For example, if a guy says to me at the end of a meal “lets have dessert” and smiles whilst doing that. If I didn’t know what dessert was I would assume that it was a good thing and enquire further, with an understanding that this might be something that I want because people smile when they are happy, that is a natural human reflex. I like dessert by the way… Just saying, if one ever takes me out on a date… Obviously people can change their non-verbal behaviour to trick you, that’s a given, so ladies beware.

Conversation can become awkward when you are unable to find a “common language”. However, the good thing is that for those who do find a “common language” by going through the interplay of communication, response and the continuous adjustment of words and phraseology in order to ease understanding between two people because they usually end up more bonded. Even more so than people who talk online all the time because people do not have the time to redraft their conversation, so you are more likely to get the raw “real version” of a person and their oral mistakes say just as much as their written accomplishments and it is the “real version” of a person that you need to be in love with in order for your relationship to work.

The interplay of communication, response and the continuous adjustment of words and phraseology in order to ease understanding between two people also has other benefits. It also exposes your compatibility, for better or for worse or how awkward both of you are lol. This is partly due to the nature of men. Men want an easy life. If he is trying very hard to form a “common language” with you in order to get you to understand him, it shows he is interested in what you think and feel and how you think and feel about him. Men want to feel appreciated and to be appreciated they need to be understood. Think about it? Let’s reverse this; if I don’t like a person I won’t be communicating much with them, I won’t bother to create a “common language” with them unless I have to because I don’t care. Rendering what they think about me a non-entity. Furthermore, whether they appreciate me or not doesn’t even register as a thing to be bothered about. I do care if my loved ones appreciate me or not, however.

This brings us to the crux of the matter, can you fall in love with someone over the internet by just seeing their picture and reading their words? I’m going to say no. Not real love. Longing, infatuation and fantasy, yes, remember, it’s not necessary for men to have a real relationship with a woman to enjoy her. We have got to look at what he does as well as what he says, do you have a “common language”? There is a difference between love and longing. Longing does involve love but regrettably longing is the kind of love that develops because the physical desires are barred from achieving self actualisation (click here for more information) and are not fully realised or satisfied and the communication cycle has messed up again, there is no “pre-conversation conversation”, sentences are always a form of “rehearsed conversation” and you do not have a “common language” rapport that you would have if you knew each other face-to-face.

Do you know me? The real me? Have you touched me or experienced what it is like to be in my presence? No? Then you can’t love me because you don’t even know who “me” is. However, you can be in love with what I have allowed you to see of me. I’ll say that’s fair. If you want to see pure unadulterated Catherine #nofilter lol you really need to see me first thing in the morning, literally when I have just woken up but not got out of bed yet, when I have the least energy to suffer fools. It’ll put hairs on your chest son… 

Men, are you in love with her or are you in love with the idea of her? Are you saying “I’m in love with you” when you really mean what Ed Sheeran said, in his rather candid pop song, “I’m in love with the shape of you, I’m in love with your body…”. Click this link or play the song in the embedded player below to understand what I’m saying from the song.

 

Love Catherine Waithe-Arnold x

#peripatetic #musicteacher #flute #altosaxophone https://catherinewaithe-arnold.com/private-music-tuition/

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#Psalm23 #Bible #Jesus #Christianity #singing #music

Hey!

So you remember I improvised a song using Psalm 23 as the lyrics? Well, this turned out to be one of my most popular tunes on SoundCloud

But the thing I actually forgot to share was me playing the song on YouTube, enjoy!

Love Catherine

#peripatetic #musicteacher #flute #altosaxophone https://catherinewaithe-arnold.com/private-music-tuition/

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#singleness #Jesus #marriage #Adam #Eve #exercise #Christian

Hello,

This week I went for a run in the park and I enjoyed myself quite a lot, you know with all the endorphins that exercise releases.

Well it got me thinking, I enjoy exercising (unless I’m on my period, no exercise gets done then, I do eat lots of cake though lol) and I said to Jesus, “You know what would be really great? If my future husband would be the type that would exercise with me”. 

Now, it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve been into exercise and before I wasn’t that keen. I thought to myself, you know I’ve really changed over the past couple of years and I’m not even the same person that I was at the beginning of the week because previously I couldn’t care less if the guy didn’t exercise with me.

This got me thinking further. Now this is the big moral to this story. You ready?… Had I gotten married when I was younger, back when most of my friends got married I would not have had the emotional and physical space that singleness provides in order to develop my personality. Being single has let me explore my own needs and wants, I’ve developed a character that defines me as opposed to having my character defined or shaped by my spouse. 

The chilling thing is that the changes that have happened to me would have happened anyway because they are related to my raw, base nature that I was born with. Consequently, had I got married earlier, I would have married a guy whose personality fit young inexperienced Catherine. I would then have changed and we would have no longer been compatible.

I attended a training session from a sports psychologist, he informed us that your brain can still be adolescent well up to 25-30 years old, depending on how mature you are. That totally fits with my own psychological development. I’m over 25 but not 30 yet, I’m very close to 30 but honestly I’ve only felt like an adult in the last couple of years.

Now, if we look in the Bible we see what life was like for early single man:

Genesis 2:15-20 NLT

[15] The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it. [16] But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden- [17] except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.” [18] Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” [19] So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. [20] He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.

Look at that! Adam was single with Jesus for an unspecified amount of time. During that time he was given instruction by God [v 16-17] (he went to school), he was given the purpose of tending the garden [v 15] (he had a job), he learnt about himself and the world around him and he was with Jesus [v 19-20] (he had a close, talking relationship with Jesus). God did all of that for a reason. God had Adam trying new things and meeting new challenges to develop his character, till he could get to the place where he understood that he needed more and why he needed more and what the more was for! It was always God’s intention to make woman but he needed man to be in a fit state to interact with woman appropriately.

The Bible also shows us early single woman:

Genesis 2:21-22 NLT

[21] So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. [22] Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

We don’t know how long Adam was out for, it could have been anything from 60 minutes to 60 years for all we know. Eve spent time on her own just her and Jesus. We know this because Jesus brought Eve to Adam as opposed to him finding her himself. We don’t know what Jesus told Eve before He introduced her to Adam but I imagine one of the things was about sex. 

Now, the man and women both had special “single time” with Jesus before He introduced them to each other. This got me thinking. Don’t feel awful about the length of your “single Adam time” or your “single Eve time”. This is when you are to learn and grow as a person. Guys, maybe it’s a time that you might want to get a job in a field (excuse the pun) that you feel that God wants you to do like Adam? Ladies, spend time with Jesus, try new things, grow, change, get a career you want and become the best and most effective you that you can be! I’ve personally improved when it comes to physical fitness, isn’t it so much better to go into a relationship healthier, physically, spiritually and emotionally?

I was thinking to myself, you never know, at one point guys, you might go to sleep, like Adam [v 21], metaphorically, as in you just stop looking for a lady and then boom! She’s there! Heh. Likewise, ladies, you might just be enjoying spending time with Jesus without a man and then Jesus says “it’s time” and then somewhere on your walk with Jesus, whilst you are continuing your relationship with Jesus, Jesus takes you to the one [v 22].

Note, when they were both in the right place physically and emotionally they were naked (honest and safe with each other) and not be ashamed [v 25].

Genesis 2:23-25 NLT

[23] “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'” [24] This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. [25] Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Everyone tells me I’ll know when I meet the one, like the man in verse 23. 

Interestingly, according to the Bible, verse 24, men tend to leave their parents to go and be with their wives (maybe move out of your parents place? Not a rule but you probably should get your own place once you’re married…).

These things are important, consider the changes in my interests a cautionary tale! It’s ok to be single. Single time is for getting to know Jesus, yourself, the world and how it works. Marriage is not easy and I have dodged many many many bullets, it means that I’m single still but I’m not in a loveless marriage with a tool, which makes me 100% better off than an unhappily married woman and I regret nothing. I’m not saying I wont still change, in fact, I’m looking forward to changing for the better with a spouse but you need to grow enough to where you can get to the point where you can be malleable enough to be affected in a good way by your spouse and be able to accept, recognise and metabolize good change and stamp out and deal with bad change. That takes maturity and the ability to know who and what you are in Christ. Also, during my single time I’ve been learning about myself, improving my physical fitness through exercising more and making healthy adjustments to my diet (the healthier you are the more energy and emotional resources you will have for things like sex and babies/children and your in-laws lol) and critiquing how I want to live and the types of individuals that I want around me. Moreover, I feel like I’ve learned so much of the Bible, there’s still more to learn and most importantly I feel like my relationship with Jesus is growing and transforming because I have so much time to myself to work on it! I see its importance and I can take a new found strength of character into a relationship and say to whoever “Jesus is more important than you!”
Love your singleness!

Catherine x

#postworkout #run 🏃 #sweaty #exercise #endorphins #nomakeup #therealme

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#Microwave #cupcake in a #mug #birthday #chocolate #treat #baking #cooking

Ladies and Gentlemen!

It’s my birthday at the end of the week. I’m going for dinner with friends and I thought as my birthday treat to you I’d share with you an awesome recipe I found the other day. 
MICROWAVE CUPCAKE IN A MUG! (You can substitute normal flour for gluten free flour and normal ice cream/cream for dairy free ice cream)

  • 1/4 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 2 tbsp cocoa powder
  • Pinch of salt
  • Pinch of baking powder (if you aren’t using self raising flour)
  • Pinch of cinnamon (optional)
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 2 tbsp vegetable oil (you can use sunflower oil as well but not olive oil because the taste is too strong)
  • 3 tsp vanilla extract

To serve

  • Ice cream or
  • Cream or
  • Whipping cream or
  • Whatever you like! lol

Method:

  1. Mix the flour, sugar, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder and cinnamon (optional) together in a mug.
  2. Then add the water, oil and vanilla extract.
  3. Microwave for 1-2 minute at 700 watts (if you want it more moist or your microwave is more powerful reduce the time)
  4. It is fully done when you insert a knife into the middle and it comes out clean.

It should look like this!

#gooey #cake in a #mug #cakeinamug now for either some #cream or #icecream www.catherinewaithe-arnold.com

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#chocolate #cake in a #mug #cakeinamug with #lactosefree #cream 🙂 catherinewaithe-arnold.com

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Yummy! hehe

Happy Baking!