I’ve been thinking, about why sometimes I feel lonely and here are my conclusions:
- I feel like I love lots of other people more than I love myself.
- I feel like I’m soo forgiving of other people and I make soo many concessions for other people’s mistakes but I’m very harsh and cold towards myself,
- I’m intolerant of myself and my faults
- Although I enjoy quiet time with myself I still feel like at the end of the day I want to hang out with other people more than I actually want to hang out with myself.
- I’ve noticed that other people are more accepting of my physical appearance than I am
- I need to stop criticising myself
- I need to smile more and think more of myself
This is why I feel lonely. I don’t enjoy my own company. So when there is no one around to love me, I don’t even love myself, so then there’s literally no one there to love me at all. When other people abandon me I’m not there for me because I abandoned me a long time ago. This is a terrible sin and a crime against myself that I literally only noticed since Sunday of this week. It needs to stop, I need to forgive myself, love myself and take care of myself more.
I wrote a song in response to my meditations:
I hope this has enlightened someone today, maybe you have been feeling the same way you need to love yourself. I don’t mean that you should masturbate, I felt like Jesus told me in no uncertain terms that that is a big NO-NO, for more info see this article for a Christian perspective on this issue (follow this link). You know it isn’t going to help anyway, nothing will if you don’t feel love for yourself on the inside. As Christians we don’t believe in that kind of “self-love” anyway. We believe that Jesus’ love is enough but I also feel like part of Jesus loving us, is Him helping us to be emotionally well adjusted by coming to terms with who we are, what we look like, what we do and having a healthy sense of self esteem. Yes Jesus loves you, He also wants you to have the courage to love yourself as well.
P.S. I have an RSS Feed/Podcast! – Catherine Waithe-Arnold http://feeds.soundcloud.com/users/soundcloud:users:3505160/sounds.rss
Lots of love