This week I went for a run in the park and I enjoyed myself quite a lot, you know with all the endorphins that exercise releases.
Well it got me thinking, I enjoy exercising (unless I’m on my period, no exercise gets done then, I do eat lots of cake though lol) and I said to Jesus, “You know what would be really great? If my future husband would be the type that would exercise with me”.
Now, it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve been into exercise and before I wasn’t that keen. I thought to myself, you know I’ve really changed over the past couple of years and I’m not even the same person that I was at the beginning of the week because previously I couldn’t care less if the guy didn’t exercise with me.
This got me thinking further. Now this is the big moral to this story. You ready?… Had I gotten married when I was younger, back when most of my friends got married I would not have had the emotional and physical space that singleness provides in order to develop my personality. Being single has let me explore my own needs and wants, I’ve developed a character that defines me as opposed to having my character defined or shaped by my spouse.
The chilling thing is that the changes that have happened to me would have happened anyway because they are related to my raw, base nature that I was born with. Consequently, had I got married earlier, I would have married a guy whose personality fit young inexperienced Catherine. I would then have changed and we would have no longer been compatible.
I attended a training session from a sports psychologist, he informed us that your brain can still be adolescent well up to 25-30 years old, depending on how mature you are. That totally fits with my own psychological development. I’m over 25 but not 30 yet, I’m very close to 30 but honestly I’ve only felt like an adult in the last couple of years.
Now, if we look in the Bible we see what life was like for early single man:
Genesis 2:15-20 NLT
 The LORD God placed the man in the Garden of Eden to tend and watch over it.  But the LORD God warned him, “You may freely eat the fruit of every tree in the garden-  except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. If you eat its fruit, you are sure to die.”  Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”  So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one.  He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
Look at that! Adam was single with Jesus for an unspecified amount of time. During that time he was given instruction by God [v 16-17] (he went to school), he was given the purpose of tending the garden [v 15] (he had a job), he learnt about himself and the world around him and he was with Jesus [v 19-20] (he had a close, talking relationship with Jesus). God did all of that for a reason. God had Adam trying new things and meeting new challenges to develop his character, till he could get to the place where he understood that he needed more and why he needed more and what the more was for! It was always God’s intention to make woman but he needed man to be in a fit state to interact with woman appropriately.
The Bible also shows us early single woman:
Genesis 2:21-22 NLT
 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening.  Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
We don’t know how long Adam was out for, it could have been anything from 60 minutes to 60 years for all we know. Eve spent time on her own just her and Jesus. We know this because Jesus brought Eve to Adam as opposed to him finding her himself. We don’t know what Jesus told Eve before He introduced her to Adam but I imagine one of the things was about sex.
Now, the man and women both had special “single time” with Jesus before He introduced them to each other. This got me thinking. Don’t feel awful about the length of your “single Adam time” or your “single Eve time”. This is when you are to learn and grow as a person. Guys, maybe it’s a time that you might want to get a job in a field (excuse the pun) that you feel that God wants you to do like Adam? Ladies, spend time with Jesus, try new things, grow, change, get a career you want and become the best and most effective you that you can be! I’ve personally improved when it comes to physical fitness, isn’t it so much better to go into a relationship healthier, physically, spiritually and emotionally?
I was thinking to myself, you never know, at one point guys, you might go to sleep, like Adam [v 21], metaphorically, as in you just stop looking for a lady and then boom! She’s there! Heh. Likewise, ladies, you might just be enjoying spending time with Jesus without a man and then Jesus says “it’s time” and then somewhere on your walk with Jesus, whilst you are continuing your relationship with Jesus, Jesus takes you to the one [v 22].
Note, when they were both in the right place physically and emotionally they were naked (honest and safe with each other) and not be ashamed [v 25].
Genesis 2:23-25 NLT
 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.'”  This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.
Everyone tells me I’ll know when I meet the one, like the man in verse 23.
Interestingly, according to the Bible, verse 24, men tend to leave their parents to go and be with their wives (maybe move out of your parents place? Not a rule but you probably should get your own place once you’re married…).
These things are important, consider the changes in my interests a cautionary tale! It’s ok to be single. Single time is for getting to know Jesus, yourself, the world and how it works. Marriage is not easy and I have dodged many many many bullets, it means that I’m single still but I’m not in a loveless marriage with a tool, which makes me 100% better off than an unhappily married woman and I regret nothing. I’m not saying I wont still change, in fact, I’m looking forward to changing for the better with a spouse but you need to grow enough to where you can get to the point where you can be malleable enough to be affected in a good way by your spouse and be able to accept, recognise and metabolize good change and stamp out and deal with bad change. That takes maturity and the ability to know who and what you are in Christ. Also, during my single time I’ve been learning about myself, improving my physical fitness through exercising more and making healthy adjustments to my diet (the healthier you are the more energy and emotional resources you will have for things like sex and babies/children and your in-laws lol) and critiquing how I want to live and the types of individuals that I want around me. Moreover, I feel like I’ve learned so much of the Bible, there’s still more to learn and most importantly I feel like my relationship with Jesus is growing and transforming because I have so much time to myself to work on it! I see its importance and I can take a new found strength of character into a relationship and say to whoever “Jesus is more important than you!”
Love your singleness!